Black With A Pinch Of Red

2008-09-22T17:15:00.003+08:00

Tired. Just done with cleaning up my fish tank. But unfortunately its not clean at all. Oh my gawd. Wasted effort. Oh well, soon I'm gonna go again. Soon.

Tomorrow's Sweetheart's birthday! Happy birthday my gorgeous! May all your wishes come true okays? Remember that I always love you and willing to be here for you. I'm sacrificing everything that I have just for you okays, sweetie? Hmm, today's the last day I'm being in the same age as you. Have to start being you god-grandson by tomorrow. Ahakz!

Hmm, so a new promise has been made. At my own will I promise her that I'm only to take care of her and her feelings. I'd just forget about my feelings. I'm not mad. I'm not crazy nor am I angry. I just cared so much. The more I say about my feelings, the more she would be lost and the more she's gonna feel like killing herself due to guiltiness. So why should I right? Hmm, don't worry about me. I'll be fine as long as you are. I'll be happy as long as you are. I'm not gonna take back my words simply because, this IS a promise. Ahaha! Correct, right? Hmm, I was hurt deeply about something but I think I'd better hush. I love her more than my feelings. I can't bear to look at her being deliberately demoralised like .. oh never mind! My point here is that she suffers too much by just thinking about how hurt I am. So it's time to make it up. She probably had enough and can't take it anymore. Kesian kan tengok dia macam ni? She had to think about home, sister, brother, 3rd party issue and me. I'd better not be one of those factors anymore. Yeah, I'm trying to make her life easier. Hope she's happy.

Labels : I've muted my heart so no one could hear it.

2008-09-21T22:37:00.003+08:00

Hehe! I'm back to my blog times! Nak tunggu sayang nyer diary, sampai bila-bila pon tak akan dapat lah. So forget it, I'll just continue writing them here. Hmm, Life's been so uncool lately. Heck if I know why. I'm still waiting for a call from Vera (Moviebites Manager). Hopefully i get the job yeahs?

So anyways I'm in a holiday right now. Fasting at the same time. The boring part is that I'm not gonna get any slips of money at all. So how should I go out and Buka outside? Friends, I'm sorry about this okays? Please understand. I'd have to stay at home cause most parts of the house require immediate attention, mainly the fish tank! Tak terjaga-jaga seh! Algae grew everywhere and it gets disgusting! Kesian ikan-ikan pat dalam. One by one, the perished. Grotesque, grotesque, grotesque.

So this blog. Same old blogskin, music's gone. Don't know what happened to it. Oh well.

Been so pissed off lately. Nowadays I'm so mad about something. I'm too old for a start of puberty, right?

Labels : Please be there, will you? Please?

2008-03-28T11:44:00.002+08:00

Hmm, I need answers. What on earth is happening to me? I thought fever was a plain "nothing"? These few days seemed to be the worst fever I've had, I think. I didn't sleep for 2 consecutive days, and that was such a blast. I layed on bed feeling unease. Like oh-my-god! I rolled around on the bed, get off, walked around the house, get into the kitchen, opened the fridge, closed it back and get back onto bed. Repeated the same routine every half hour. Was it fun?

Went out with Sweetheart after my Fancy Drill training and after her time spent with her aunt. Went to esplanade and talked about some interesting stuffs there - our memories with our Ex(s). Haha! Damn, her stories were even more interesting than mine. I was kinda hurt to know that such love would die just like that. One year and five months of wasted effort. Wow. Okay, don't get me started!

Hmm, yesterday was one of the happiest moments with her. But of course there were even better moments with her. Yeap, we chatted about that too. How romantic!

Okay, in the end I sent her home and she was safe there. Hehe!

(I don't even know what I'm writing!)

Erm, having a flu here! A small bottle of Vicks VapoRub is here right in front of me and I've gotta sniff it like an addict every minute. Oh gosh!

That's all.

Labels : Don't tell me it's the last time.

2008-03-26T12:19:00.003+08:00

Hmm, I don't know why but I woke up feeling really tired. I texted Sweetheart wishing her good morning and went back to sleep. Woke up later feeling abit better, but still feeling weak. Hmm, this fever's not going off, and it sucked, big time! Went to Botanical Gardens a few days ago with Sweetheart and got TWO souvenirs - mosquito bites on each on my arms. Probably that's the cause of me being sick? Gosh!

Hmm, till now I've yet to receive any news about Sweetheart. All she could do was just to give me miss calls. I know nothing about what that means. Yeah, the worry-ness starts to increase.

Darling, where are you?

That's all.

Labels : Some words are meant to say while some are meant to kill.

2008-03-15T19:27:00.002+08:00

Okay, had Qiyam at Assyafaah Mosque yesterday night. Whoah, wait! Before that, we had a really bad moment during NPCC training. Hmm, don't wanna talk about it. So, met Sweetheart at Bukit Batok interchange and gave her my baby photo at once. Haha! Semangat lahs! Hmm, then walked around West Mall and only browsed into only a few shops in there. Only one shop that interested us the most! We headed into Tom & Stephanie and went around the kids section. We suddenly came across the "puting", used to stuff it into the baby's mouth, that kinda stuff? Yeah, and on it was written "I Love Mama!" and "Papa Is The Best!" on the other one. Haha! Both of us planned to have those two and have them for ourselves, as keychains! Gagaga!

So we headed to the Bukit Batok CC as Sweetheart needs to attend a meeting there. So I waited for her for just about a few minutes and we're off to Assyafaah Mosque for Qiyam! Hmm, as soon as we reached there, alot of things happened already. That includes with the arguement on "Is it okay to have a Boy-Girl Relationship?" Oh gosh, I was really terasa and kept my mouth shut! Were you, sweetheart? Haha!

Hmm, during lights out, I was annoyed with quite a number of things. Here it goes. Hmm, I was playing with Kak Zilah's PSP, then Emi wanted to borrow it. So I lent it to him and tought him a few stuffs, then I went lying down in the sleeping area. Then Emi needed help with some stuffs about the game. So I stood back up and went to him. When I got back to my sleeping area, Bro Farhan put aside my towel (which I used it as a pillow) and layed down there. Alahai! I just took it and placed it somewhere beside Syafiq. Booked that place! Suddenly Sweetheart texted me that she wanna borrow the PSP. Oh wells, dah memang niat aku pon nak pinjamkan dia! Haha! Hmm, so I went up to the 4th floor and met Sweetheart. Aku cair lah bila nampak dia! Asal seh?! Itu dah satu hal, abih aku ngah pakai baju kuning, dia pun pakai baju kuning! Whee! So I went back down, and layed my head on my towel. Then Sweetheart texted me again as she had problems switching on the PSP! Haiyo! I ran back up, waited for her and settled the problem. I then rn back down and into the guys' room. To my horror, Syafiq layed his head COMFORTABLY on my towel and left only a bit of space for me to lay on! Argh! Oh wells, just did what I had to. I'm too tired! So I layed my head onto the little space available and waited for myself to sleep. Not even in 2 minutes time, Syafiq, in his sleep, rolled over to his right and COMFORTABLY layed his body on my left arm! Argh!! I quickly pushed him aside and pulled my arms! NOW I DON'T HAVE ANY ROOM TO SLEEP! Darn it! Hmm, I went in and out of the room, had a peek on what were the other guys are up to with Bro Farhan's laptop, and then went out of the room and tried sleeping outside on the sofa. It's already 0510 hrs, and azan for subuh was real soon. Haish, takda chance aku nak tido tau!

Well, azan was sounded. Had our subuh prayers, changed my clothes and we had our Iqra' session. So after that, we went to Sembawang Mart as the rest of them wanted to had their breakfast at Koufu and went to bowling after that, while me and Sweetheart had to go off early.

Sweetheart's been kind enough to buy me a BBQ Chicken Pau and to send me to school for training! Thank you, Sweetheart! Hmm, kissed her goodbye and of she went.

So today's NPCC were never better. We still can't seem to get the full attendance. Why huh, guys? Some of you were overseas, I'm okay with that. But to those who were not in training the last few days? And some of you could still be sleeping at home while we were having training, and you expected us to call you to give you a sweet "wake-up call" just for you to pull yourself out of bed and to the school! Bullshit! I really have nothing else to say to you guys. I'm out of adjectives to describe, out of words to say. I really tried my best to pull myself form giving up. You guys should, too.

I'm too tired. Going for magrib prayers and maybe off to sleep, okays?

That's all.

2008-03-06T22:21:00.002+08:00

Happy 2nd month to me and Sweetheart!

Haha! Both of us were like jumping around in each other's imaginations! Hmm, I'd never thought today was gonna be such a beautiful day. There's alot of "I love you, sayang!" involved this 6th march. Sungguh manis!

Hmm, yeasterday was such a stressful moment for an NPCC training. Like seriously, I couldn't imagine if trainings were to get any worser. Help us! Hmm, texted Sweetheart while having training so as to cheer myself up. Sweetheart even called me up! Gosh, thank you so much sayang! Hmm, we then headed to the KFC for some plannings for the NPCC camp. We had our dinner at the same time, and I ate two pieces of chicken! Sampai muak! Bleargh! Oh wells, at that moment, I was kinda disheartened as I didnt get to meet Sweetheart at all. She said she can't even go out much, maybe just towards the shops nearby her place. Well, I wasn't satisfied still! I MUST have a look on her face! Buahaha! Hmm, after eating, I rushed out of the KFC and went to the indoor bazaar in Sunplaza, full of ladies' clothings! Well, there I was, browsing every single one of the clothes to buy. I felt kinda embarrassed! I was the only guy over there while there were lots of ladies browsing the clothes as well! Mampos lah, buat demi cinta dan kasih sayang! Hmm, Sweetheart kinda like black and brown, and she loves red (which there isn't any red clothes). So I bought two for her! Hmm, then continued planning for the NPCC camp back in the KFC for awhile, then I left to Sembawang MRT at about 2000hrs. So of I went, to Harbourfront! Haha! Well, that's the moment when I started my plan to surprise my sweetheart. Here it goes!

While on the way, I texted Sweetheart as usual - saying about how lovely she was, reminded her about how glad I was when she got close to mom, bla bla bla. Hmm, I made her believed that I was on the way home. She musn't suspect a thing! Yeah, I know I lied! Bohong sunat, demi cinta dan kasih sayang! Haha! Well, as soon as I reached Harbourfront, took a bus towards Telok Blangah and towards Sweetheart's place! Okay, I went under the void deck and called her up.

And our conversation was like ...

Me : "Hello sayang! Apa buats?"
Sweetheart : " Hello! Hmm, ngah tengok tv."
Me : "Hehe! Sayang, Sayang! You free tak skarang?"
Sweetheart : "Yeap, kenapa?"
Me : "Can do me a favour tak?"
Sweetheart : "Yeap! Apa dia, sayang?"
Me : "Hmm, I pat rumah ni try-try with my IBanking account, and I tried transfering some money to your bank account."
Sweetheart : "Hah? You transfer pat my account buat apa?!"
Me : "Alah, I try-try je! Hmm, sayang. You leh gi ATM tak? Okay, you withdraw $20, and you beli Starhub Prepaid Card and then you top up lah. Okie-okie?"
Sweetheart : "Hah? Buat apa seh? I baru top up!"
Me : "Alah, I tau ler! Nanti you dah top up, you transfer to my HP lah. Okie? You gi skarang tau sayang!"
Sweetheart : "Haha! Ouh, okok."
Me : "Ok, sayang! Bye!"
Sweetheart : "Bye!"

And we hung up. So, I waited behind the staircase, behind her block. I waited, and waited, and the she was! I really kept my distance away from her. Stalking her from behind. Haha! As she crosses the zebra crossing, I ran towards her and was like, "Sayang!!" Haha! She was shocked like hell! Bawak dia ke tepi road, dia terketawa sampai terduduk-duduk! Okay, honestly speaking, I was kinda worried because her legs were kinda weak. Haha! Oh well, sorry sayang! Hehe! Brought her back home as she wanna get her cardigan. She was shivering! Hmm, then we went to some blocks away and sat down on some seats over there. Whew! I got lotsa hugs from her cause she missed me so much! Whee! I missed you too, okay darling? Hmm, so I gave her the clothes that I bought that evening. She smiled so widely! Senyuman Santa Clause pon kalah! Ahaha! She was so, so excited that time! Hmm, padahal baju-baju tu was so simple to me. Well, I'm so glad she loved it so much! Terharu lahs! Hehe! Hmm, then we walked around the neighbourhood and sent her home.

That's all.

Labels : 060308, Happy 2nd month, Sweetheart!

2008-02-28T22:26:00.003+08:00

I don't know how much worser could NPCC's gonna be. Solutions that cracked out from our head would only, more or less solve a bit. Fancy Drill. Yeap, It's sure gonna be fancy when you look at the results we actually expected. But hell's gonna win the debate, something else occured. It's simply much painful in the head and heart (mentally and emotionally) this year than we had in the year before, and before.

I'm not gonna be afraid to mention names. KHAS UNTUK YANG-DAH-MALU.

Yesterday, the Fancy Drill squad were supposed to present their performance to the principal since it was her birthday. From the very start of the moment I stepped into the school, I could see every single CCA practicing their items for the performance. NPCC was the only one doing something else - the AFT presentation. "What on earth?! What about the fancy drill practice?" It's the only question that ran about in my mind, left and right, fron and back. Oh well, I just went into the AVA room just to join them.

Next, as the presentation ended, the C.I. called the campcraft participants out and had some kind of briefing for them. I'm not even sure what was said. Yeah, to my horror, as soon as I stepped out of the AVA room, all of the other CCAs were already forming up to their positions as the performance was about to start. I rished all of the fancy drill cadets to get to their positions at once. And guess what? Only about five of them were there! Holy shit! I almost lost my breath, okay? I don't even know who I ordered to call the rest of the cadets to from up. It took us about a good 20 mins just to get them to form up, including the campcraft participants after the trouble Aloysious had to get them.

So, our item started and some of them did quite well, yet not up to standard. After they marched off to end it all, some of them ran to me and said, "Abang Khai! We saw Kama and Siti watching us at the 3rd floor!" Gargh! Those two Bloody-Bitches really got on my nerves! I told them to run up and look for those two B-Bs. I walked out to the parade square and saw those two trying to hide behind the wall. Scared huh, babies?

Yeah, my cadets faced them and asked why they weren't with us performing. Hmm, I don't even wanna describe the Catfight-To-Be event. One of the B-B's attitude is simply disgusting! Rufisha made her embarrased about her dirty little secret that time, and the B-bs walked off. That was the moment when I worn off, thinking that we've lost hope.

Mannan and Min came a few minutes after, and I told them everything. Great, Mannan told me that he saw those two B-Bs on the way home from Sunplaza! Sakit hati aku macam ikan berjoget pat darat lah!

So yeah, now these Siti and Kama's parents came to school and complained to our officers that Mannan kicked those two off from fancy drill. Well, for your god damned info, it isn't only his decision, but me, and the whole squad's decision to kick you both out! We really don't need betrayers like you who joined and BERSETIA with us in the beginning, and left us halfway. Both of you are the most Belo-minded human beings I've ever met in my entire life, do you realise that? Why must it be yesterday, the most important event that you had to leave us? Menyusahkan orang betul lah binatang-binatang yang tak berekor ni! Yang ada ekor lagi ada timbang rasa lah! And the rest of your fancy drill members had to face the shame, embarrassment and sufferings yesterday performing for the principal, while the both of you, B-Bs (Bloody-Bitches) simply ran away and watch them from the third floor. What on earth were you thinking?! You could even lie to your parents that we released you yesterday while the fact that you ran away from the training? Memang sah takda buah! Pompuan ke laki ke korang ni, aku pon takleh bandingkan lah! I'd feel even happier if you two bitches were to read this post. You wanna make rumours about my friend asking you for stead, I can make HOT NEWS about how perasaan and muka tembok you've been! Muka tembok, Great Wall of China pon kalah lah!

Oh yeah, Siti, your fellow members told me that you had a crush on me. Let me say this, but BEAT IT! I'm not interested to even look at you right now! I'm attatched, understand? Seen my ring? Want me to make you understand better? I really AM NOT interested to have a girlfriend who've been a betrayer and a hypocrite! In fact, I've not even any much feelings for you at all. And I could be less harsh than this too you if you wouldn't have joined your Bloody-Bitches partner. Too bad, baby! You're rejected!

Both of you want me to sound you off face-to-face after reading this? Oh sure! But where on earth are you?

That's all.

Labels : Let's humiliate the embarrassed.

2008-02-20T21:18:00.003+08:00

"I've seen love die way too many times when it deserves to be alive" - Sis Zilah.

Hmm, that quotation, I couldn't agree more on it. I've gotta admit that I'm one of those with dead love stories. They're history now, and I'm back with someone new. Hmm, Love died for too much reasons. Some couples can't even handle themselves, some even made sacrifices - which were quite lovely, I should say. But the only reason that simply killed love, and really pissed me off was that couples had to break up due to a third party. Well, should you ask why? Oh, sure you do. It's simply the stupidest reason I've ever discovered in my entire life. I mean, why even have relationships in the first place? A third party is the cause of relationships being broken up, and the person who fell for that third party was stupid enough to not even think about those times spent with his or her mate. Just think, you really wanna blow everything off after all those moments? Yeah, secondly, I simply hate it when "looks" is the reason for this. This really isn't love, this is bullshit.

I've faced this for quite sometime though, with a few of my ex-girlfriends. Wouldn't wanna say their names cause I'm not here to write hateful post about them. Well, some left me because of someone else. Just before I knew it, she's totally falling for someone else. Isn't it really heartaching?

Damn, I think I've just dragged back history after a few months! God, I think I should just stop.

Hmm, I've been having nightmares lately. Erm, last night was probably the most terrifying sleep I've ever had. Which I don't even know why. I had this one dream (which I forgot what it was), and I suddenly woke up shockingly, hearing someone screaming out loud right next to my right ear, and I felt something trying to grab the right side of my neck! Whoah, I woke up, took in LOTS of deep breaths and prayed alot. Till' now I kept wondering, "Was I disturbed, or was I only Mengigau?" Hmm, to think back about it, it kinda freaked me out, yet I didn't even cared about it. Somehow. Sweetheart called me this morning. So I tol her everything. Well, she said she experienced it quite a few times. Hmm, god knows best.

So uhh, had NPCC training today. It was "okay". The Sec 1s were quite blur with some stuffs eventhough I've tried to correct them a few times. Oh well. They'll get it someday.

Hmm, major problem. The fancy drill squad wasn't in school this afternoon as they had to go for road marshal duties. Erm, heard that they've completed about 59 seconds of their fancy drill performance isn't it? Hmm, they were supposed to demonstrate it to the HODs today, but HODs said it was fine and they wanna look at their performance THIS FRIDAY! Oh god! How are we gonna survive with these quick moments?! There's another training tommorow, and it might be the only day for us to get the squad perfect with their steps, or even to finish up the whole music. Bleargh.

So anyways, as I'm writing the whole of this post, I've been thinking alot about Sweetheart! Darn, I'm missing her so much! Ahaha! She called me about three times for today. Hmm, she's facing abit of problems with her family, and I really wished I could help - or even do something. Haish, cheer up okay, Sweetie? Just remember that I'm having parts of your heartaches. I know how you feel. Love you!

That's all.

Labels : We stand alone together.

2008-02-18T15:16:00.003+08:00

Rahh!! Feeling so excited, high, happy, and I don't know what else to describe my feelings right now. I'm matriculated into Digital Media Design (Video Effects) at ITE Ang Mo Kio, and Sweetheart's got in too! Whoo! For the first time in my life, I'm gonna be in the class with my girlfriend (Hopefully)! I really don't know what else to say, my happiness is too much for me to handle! Sweetheart, I really need to hug you right now! Aaaargh!!

Well, preparing myself what would it be like in ITE soon. Most say it's gonna be hell in Ang Mo Kio, but hell if I care! I still got Sweetheart around! Haha! Hmm, speaking of which, I just hope Ridaudin got in too. His drawing's are really great! Wishing you luck, dude!

That's all.

Labels : How wonderful life is, now you're in the world.

2008-02-16T18:12:00.002+08:00

Hmm, Sweetheart's really, really sick. Sent her to the Polyclinic this morning. Well, I picked her up from her grandmom's house at level 6. She really looked pale, okay? I got real close to her just to keep her comfortable. She can't even define which is hot or cold that she's feeling in herself. Hmm, didn't talked much cause she can't even help herself into speaking. I then sent her home, gave her the pink Adidas perfume (as a Get-Well-Soon gift) and off she went! I simply can't take my eyes off her while she was making her way back. Takut-takut jer kalau apa-apa terjadi, aku datang jadi Hero!

Well, then I went off to school for NPCC fancy-drill training. Didn't even enjoyed my journey, I'm too worried about Sweetheart!

That's all.

Labels : The day when I'll smile with full enjoyment would be the day when you'll fully recover.

2008-02-13T11:54:00.004+08:00

I'm so pissed off, pressured and stressed out! I can't even explain myself. One after another, problems were queuing up just to face me, like a lot of passengers queuing for the the Check-ins just to get to their flights. Whatever that means!

Sweetheart's feeling down because of the tragedy that happened recenlty. Haish, I couldn't do much but just to cheer her up, while at the same time feeling overtaken by this pressure. It seems to me that fate is having a huge problem with me.

That's all.

Labels : Draw my blood from stone.

2008-02-11T00:46:00.000+08:00

Updates! Gagaga! Okay, I wanna update about me and Sweetheart's first month celebration! Whee! It's only our first month, and we celebrated it like it's our first year! Haha!

Okay, it was such a great time to spend with her in the Zoo. The sun really tried to tore us down, but Sweetheart's activeness really brought us up! Haha! She was dying to look at those bunch of animals, variety! Because of her, my interests we pulled along. Sheesh! Haha! So our favourite was the White Tiger. Sad thing that we didn't see the cub. It's gonna look so cute! Grr! I call that species "Make-Up Tiger", cause i bet it rolled itself over a tub of Johnson's Baby Powder 'till it turned white. LAME!

Erm, did I speak like a fourth-grader? Heck.

Well, we didn't got to see Ah Meng the Orang Utan that time. Probably she's already suffering. The fact is, she died a few days ago. Gosh, we love you, baby.

So we left the Zoo at around 1400hrs. Went to erm .. what's that shopping mall called in Chua Chu Kang?! Damn it! I forgot the name! Tag my board with it's name yeahs? Hehe!

So yeah, went there to have our lunch in KFC. As usual, I got my Zinger and Sweetheart got her Bandito Pocket, both in student meal! While eating, I spotted a Bangladesh male eating with an Indonesian female. Haha! Don't wanna talk about it.

Next, we took a bus to Vivocity! Erm, surprisingly, we didn't spent most of our time there cause most shops were closed. It's Chinese New Year! Gargh! So we decided to walk from Vivocity all the way to Telok Blangah. Wow! That was the time when I started being nuts and talking craps non-stop. Sweetheart could just laugh about it cause she thinks I sounded cute? Haha! We're weird! So we spend some time in the parks in that area and then sent her home! Whee!

So that was the day - 060208! Here's some of the photos!

Rat over-lapping.

Rat sleeping.

Kedondong.

Lovely!

Yeah, that's it. The rest of the pictures were in sweetheart's camera! Grr!

That's all.

Labels : The biggest memory - 060208

2008-02-05T12:20:00.000+08:00

Whee! Life's really changed alot! Hmm, have been quite stressed about lotsa stuffs though. NPCC Fancy Drill, home, parents and bla bla bla. Sweetheart's always there to melt me down. Aww! Haha!

Erm, I'm gonna expect this post to be a little short. I'm getting lazy with this blog thinging, unless Sweetheart's gonna force me to update! Bleargh! Oh well! Just swiping off dusts on this blog - here and there.

By the way, tomorrow's our first month! Gosh! "Kita baru nak masuk sebulan dah lalu banyak bende, kan sayang?" That was what she asked me while on the phone yesterday night. It really touched my heart actually. Jeng-jeng! Haha! Yeah, I couldn't agree more. We went through alot. ALOT! So where are we going tomorrow for first month?

*Thinking*

Where are we going?! *Clap, clap, clap!* To the Zoo!

Haha! Yeap, we're going to the Zoo tomorrow! We're gonna expect some animals to be wearing Cheongsam! Ahaha!

That's all.

Labels : Sweetheart have really been such a sweetheart.

2008-01-24T01:18:00.000+08:00

Whoo!! Guys! The latest post will be on Sweetheart's blog! Move it!

www.freakyfyque.blogspot.com

That's all.

Labels : The Academy Is.

2008-01-08T10:49:00.000+08:00

I'm attatched, and I'm loving it! The ring (Oh my gawd! Where is it?! Oh, here it is. Whew!) would prove alot about it. Encraved with our combined names, filled with much love, and we put it onto each others fingers that afternoon. ZeroSixZeroOneZeroEight, was the the happiest moment I've ever had. It was just our first day, and I've gotta face her parents in co-incidentally! Haha! Lucky me, they're impressed, and I'm welcomed.

Well, the ring finally got onto the finger. Remembered the previous ring I bought, encraved with the name "KhairRah". Well, threw it in Singapore River already. I really made up my mind on leaving her after giving about six to seven chances? I don't blame her about her behaviour, but it's REALLY DISHEARTENING to know that she still can't figure out what was the very last thing she acted that made me wanna leave her so much. She should think twice while describing me as "Takda hati perut" cause she was wrong as well. I wouldn't even plan to propose to her with that ring if I don't even have a heart. I'm not saying all I did was right. But seriously, I had enough. I wanted to stay, but the way she acted was like she really wanted me to leave. What should I do, right? Well, don't come asking me what you had done, cause I won't even answer. I'm with someone else now, so don't even bother. I'd be at MOST peace if I don't know you. Simply because, being with you would be the most .. stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I don't mean any offences, but that was what I thought before I threw that ring away.

Go get someone new, please.

That's all.

Labels : The smile on your face and the glitters in your eyes showed me alot that you loved me so.

2008-01-03T20:04:00.000+08:00

I don't know how, and I don't know why. But it seems to me that fate finally showed me something. It was unexpected, yet it feels so good. I may have felt this way before, but this time, it might be something different. There were more and more people encouraging, more and more it made me smile. I simply can't describe what I'm feeling inside as I have no clue what I'm feeling myself. Or maybe, it's another sign of what most call it "Love"?

It's been days, it's been weeks, and it's almost been a month. We got closer and closer every time and began to care lots for each other, no matter how far we're apart. That sweet smile and voice of yours are the very things I've been craving for every night. And as I said these words to you before, "I wish, it would feel so good to see you smiling in your sleep," which I was hoping you would find that ringing a bell as a clue. I would be loving and dearest to you cause it's you whom I wish I would have. Insya-Allah. And if I were to lose you, it wouldn't be a tragedy, but a disaster.

But sadly, after all these while, after all the encouragements, I still couldn't make my move. I simply can't understand why.

That's all.

Labels : If only.......

2007-12-31T10:44:00.001+08:00

Greatness! Sorry for not updating for quite sometime. I'm getting lazy, ya know? Seriously. Anyways, today's stuff I'm gonna write about is yesterday's stuff. Yeap, the Assyafaah's Charity High Tea & Hadith Book Launch. It's an awesome event! Well, honestly, the main reason I simply can't wait for that event was because I simply can't wait to try out my new red shawl that goes along with my formal outfit. Haha!

Okay, First thing's up, got out from home and made my way to the MRT Station as usual. As I got into the train, all eyes were on me. Darn it! Even if I didn't see who's looking, I could just felt that I'm being watched, something like that. Get what I mean. Well, dropped off at Sembawang and headed to the Assyafaah mosque. There was really no-one there except for the pakciks and makciks. I just sat alone on the staircase in the basement.I tried calling Ariff but the line just cut-off due to my low prepaid balance. Pelokek punya Starhub! After about a good 15 minutes, i headed up to the 1st floor, and saw Bro Fir, Bro Farhan, Alfian, Akhbar and Ferza sitting somewhere around. Got kinda frustrated for sitting alone for quite sometime though, but oh well! Hehe! Waited for the rest to come, and the last men who came was Ariff and Dan, at about 1145 hrs. Haha! You're late, dudes!

So, we had breifing and some stuffs led by Bro Farhan at the 3rd floor. So, we then made our way to the Grassroots Club, where the fun was held! Here's some pictures while on the way :

The Boy-Band?

Ferza & Alfian.

Yeah just the two of them. So, as soon as we reached the The Grassroots Club, we had our Zuhur prayers in the Conference room. Then sat on our tables, waiting for the event to start! Some photos! Here! :

Putra, Ariff and Ferza

Ferza, Alfian and Me!

Sedang bermesyuarat?

"I .. am .. FERZAAAAAAAA....!!!!"

"Bila mau cekik dah?"

Ariff's line, "Eh! Amaciam?!"

Ariff : "Nanti kau...."

Emi :"Mak! Bau....!"

Ariff and Emi

The Gegerls.

Sedang menahan kelaparan.

Wirda, Shu, Emi and Aizat.

Okay, So the whole event was fun. But when it comes to the Buffet Refreshments, gawd! I took lots of noodles for myself and Putra, and took lots of cakes and puffs for the whole table. I took more of them again and again. I thought the rest knew, but they took MORE puffs and cakes for thier own instead! Haha! The whole table's occupied, and you wouldn't believe how much we ate! There, look! :

So yeah, we ate alot till we dropped! Haha! Hmm, so as the event ended, we headed to the Al-Mutaqqin mosque and had our Asar and Magrib prayers. Lastly, I went off to meet Fiqa while the rest of them went off playing pool. Haha!

Okay, so Fiqa needed me to accompany her to the Airport cause she wanna top-up her electric prepaid. So, met her in Dhoby Ghaut Station and went off to the Airport together. After that, let's see ... we had our dinner at MacDonalds. Yeah, she had her Double Cheeseburger and I had my McSpicy!. Ishouldn't had had that burger cause it spiced me to death! I cried while eating it! Fiqa couldn't do nothing but just laughed. Yeah, I know I'm cute.

Finally, I sent her home up to the bus stop infront of her house and then off I went. Hmoe.

That's all.

Labels : Nadiah, I've fulfilled my promise! =P

2007-12-24T09:03:00.000+08:00

Okay!! I'm really rushing right now! I'm going to Sentosa with my friends this morning, and see where we're going next. By the way, The whole of previous week was totally awesome! The sheep, the slaughter, the Pulau Ubin, the bikes, and ... oh I shouldn't say more. They're just freakin' awesome okays?

I've changed the music in this site. But It's not clear enough cause the website I got it from just sucked big time. No choice left, it's the only website that have the song. Plucked it at here it is - Change - Deftones (Queen of the Damned OST)

That's all.

Labels : I watched you change in you.

2007-12-11T01:37:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be VERY short! Well, the previous musics in this site was really headbanging awesome! They're soundtracks of Emo Rangers played by Fei Comodo. Right now, I'm changing the mood. Introducing the music of rock that turned orchestra, The String Quartet. Well, the two songs I've uploaded in here are as follows.

My Immortal (originated by Evanescence)

Thank You For The Venom (Originated by My Chemical Romance)

Awesome isn't it? Stay in and hear on!

That's all.

Labels : And probably those shiny eyes of yours would mean a thing, or a use to deceive.

2007-12-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

"Twisted - their form faultless. They were men made into monsters. They wouldn't bleed just as red as men. Probably quite as smart, but probably quite more cruel. Their eyes glare at anything that turned against them, like a very gem that reflects every rays of light shining against it. They recognise no feelings, but hatred. They'll give everything for their pride, but mercy.

Shall any man who have the bravery to reveal what is uncovered, show what is hidden, and he shall be the man to be rewarded like none other has ever had. A more glory to be made."

So, anyone of you understood what it says? It's a riddle. And I made it myself. Let's see who could answer this "One of a kind" thing. A reward? Well, what do you have in mind? A kiss for girl and a pat on the back for guys? Ahaha! Okay, no rewards! Take this for fun will ya? Honestly speaking, even I am having difficulties in understanding what the hell is this thing is asking for. I'll just shrug my shoulders if you were to ask me. Go ahead, give it a try!

That's all.

Labels : Everything the light touches is our kingdom? Even my own study room?

2007-12-03T12:26:00.001+08:00

One thing really pissed me off - a fever! And it's not just any fever, it's HIGH fever! Yeah guys, it's getting worse. It was about 38.5'C yesterday night, and it reached out 39.3'C! Urgh! Not to mention about the lack of sleep I had. Slept at around 0230 hrs, and woke up at about a half hour later. It's so darn annoying, understand? It feels so warm and cold at the same time, a huge sense of gravity pulling you down in every direction and you could even hardly move. Your bloodshot eyeballs burn in temperature like, a group of germs having campfire inside? Now, the best thing is, I'm out of Panadols. It's Panadol ActiFast and it's my favourite cause it'll AT LEAST calm me down right at that moment. But heck, someone had them all. Hell if I knew it's like a candy such that one box of it became empty. Sheesh!

Hmm, right now I'm still struggling for money and job. I just can't understand why is it so hard. Applied for lots and none accepted me. Oh well. Keep trying I guess?

Been thinking of working with Fiqa in CISCO, but the pay's only $800+ per month. So I've gotta work overtime, all the time? For my wish's sake, I need more than a thousand monthly! I've lotsa stuffs to pay and buy!

!st pay - Spend about $700+ to pay for my school fees that I've delayed since about Secondary 1?
2nd pay - To buy my own laptop, high processor and at least a 2GB memory.
Leftovers - To buy that Lord of the Rings Online game I've been craving for, and probably an Anti-Virus package, too.

It's my plan, but it's just so hard to get a job! Damn it!

Okay, last one. I've planned for an Off-Road Cycling activity in Pulau Ubin. Well, it's cheap! You can even rent 2 bikes for a day - which is not even necessary. Spread this words to the AYMs. I'll post up the details probably by this saturday. Better make it!

That's all.

Labels : A good friend once said, "............."

2007-12-01T23:51:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh! I'm really half-dead! Whee! A part of a soul left to enjoy myself in Lala-Land! (Dreamland) I had a whole lot of fun just now! How awesome! Today was a blast! Whee!

Met Maiss at Woodlands MRT at around 1345 hrs, then off we went to town! Okay, getting along with Maiss for the first time was fine. I just got so goofy from that time onwards, not knowing why. Pfft! So, met up with Dayah and Fiqah in Bugis, and round we went in Bugis Street! Erm, some stuffs just caught my eyeballs though. But then again, I don't know why I lost interests in them. Hate the designs? Probably. There's alot in black, but in ugly design and vise versa. Fashion nowadays, gosh.

Anyways, the girls looked around more than I did! I just can't accept the fact! Urgh! I'm like so lost in where they're going. Nyehehe! Well, forgot to bring them around Bugis Junction and took the MRT to City Hall instead. Really crowded train, don't wanna talk about that part.

So, in City Hall, walked straight to the Merlion and took a few shots there. Gawd! Where are the photos?! Okay, the moments when I went for some fresh air by the riverside, tourists on the boats were like staring at us! They want "some" don't they? I just waved my hands high enough and shouted "Welcome to Singapore!" Ahaha! It even brought my mood up when they actually waved back! How sweet of them! Love you guys! Hehe!

Okay, met up with someone again, which is Putra at the Powerhouse. He sorta dislike the band playing there. Haha! Oh well, off we went! We decided to have some food. Wait, not "WE", but "ME"! Haha! Yeah, I really need to fill up cause I've not eaten since morning. So, we headed to Marina Square and into the Food Court. So erm, my eyes went wide, cause the foods there are like SO EXPENSIVE! *cries* Oh well! Saw Fiqah and Maiss queueing up in one stall. I went, "Ooo! Ice Kacang!" Hehe! It's been a long time! Apa lagi, sebok-sebok join lahs! Nyehehe!

Hmm, fast-forward shall we? Okay, me and Maiss were having a hard time looking for jobs. Erm, wait. We only looked for 1, or not at all! Haha! I headed into Gain City to ask for a walk-in interview. Before anything, Maiss said that I should go ahead if I get the job cause she don't quite have the confident for this types yet. I was like "Hah?! What about you? Alahai!" So, I just backed out. Kesian lah kans, kita dah ada kerja nanti dia pulak yang masih mencari. Don't feel guilty yeah girl? I simply understood. Hehe!

So, it's finally time for us to separate since it's almost magrib. (Aww!) As for me, I continued my day by dropping off at Orchard and into Al-Falah mosque. Wan had something that he needed my help so much. Great thing was, I got along with Amira and her sis - Farha. Nice ladies I should say. Haha! We were told to bring the goodie bags that contained GOODIES, of course, to Far East Plaza. From there, we have to distribute the goodies and tell those passerby about the camp that's going to be held at Selangor. Me, Amira and Farha really stoned outside the entrance! There's lots of Mats and Minahs lurking around! Cigarette smoke kept puffing out from their pieholes like we're in and industrial area. We got no confidence in doing this job, until I just confronted a boy. Well, I doesn't seemed so bad at all! So Amira too got abit comfortable with this thing, while Farha just stood one side, taking care of our stuffs. Haha!

FAST-FORWARD!

The three of us and Wan then went to the Cineleisure to have dinner at Long John Silvers. Well, eventually the two girls bought a meal of their own, and can't even finish them! Of course, I'm the one being the trash-can there! Meaning to say, finished up their leftovers?

Well, all of us finally headed home, and home it is! Erm, okay. I REALLY enjoyed my times with everyone today! Ah-hoo! *celebration!*

That's all.

Labels : "Knock knock!" and "Who's there?"!

2007-12-01T10:42:00.000+08:00

Okay, time to post things up.Things haven't been really good lately. For some reasons or another, people in the world seems to have a problem with each other. How strange. I can admit that I might be one of those, but I could at least stay away from it. That's how I realised what's going on, unlike them. To put straight to it, it's the problem with my friends. Nope, not my band, not my best friends, but just friends. Friends in my MSN contacts whom I don't really talk much, those kindda people. Again, they're quite against each other, and I'm being called upon. So, what do ya know? I'm trying to help out, but they're getting the the wrong idea. Guy A thought I'm siding Guy B, while Guy B thought I'm siding Guy A. How awesome! So as they know, I said, "Erm, oh well! You're on your own guys! Trala!" and off I went. It's that simple.

Next up. Little brother's being quite a "Bitch" lately. I don't know if that's the right word I should post in, but oh well! He ruined my only morning I could have a break. Dad called me up asking me to wake those two up to go to the stall, and so I did! As soon as I got out of the room I already saw Ameerul playing Maple. Simply asked him to go get dressed. As for the little one, BLEARGH! It really took me rages of anger just to wake him up. Cakap baik-baik taknak dengar! He just kept laying on the bed in different positions even when I shook him to wake up. Nampaksah sengaja! It too me about a good 10 mins of yelling till he got off from bed. He ran out of the room and started weeping tears. I was like, "Abih nangis?!" and he just shouted "Diam lah!" Wow, I don't even remember teaching him that. Quite rude isn't it? Hmm, like I said, he's being a bitch lately. He even took off his clothes outside the toilet before taking a shower, dancing and shaking his humps around as if he's another pussycat doll, and don't even bother to close the door while washing up. Gawd! I'm so ashamed of being his brother! I know it's really off limits to say that, but this is WAY too much! He's really spoiled, and he's Primary 5! Quite early to be such a defiant, and quite old to be pampered. Haish, okay, I can't say nomore. He know not that such is a disheartening act. I just wish Kak Zilah would even spare some time for this. Oh yeah, I think I've wasted too much time on him. I craved for his change.

So uhh, blogging in the morning? Good stuff! I'll try writing more tonight, okays?

That's all.

Labels : Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.

2007-11-22T01:28:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's really been a long time. Well, I'm here to clean off the dusts laying around this site. And erm, I've been treasuring this site for quite some time. So, it's time for me to keep this site up.

Well, first of all, I hadn't been in the mood to update about stuffs in here. I just don't feel like it. I kept thinking that, good old stuffs should be kept inside, it's the best. Alot of things had happened, but let's just forget them all, yeahs?

Okay, I think I'm finishing this up. But I just wanna say that I'm truly sorry for Muna. She's been wishing for me to come back, for happiness and for a birthday wish. But I'm keeping my word - I'm really not coming back. I just wanna lead my own live the way I am now. I'm more greatful with it. I know you're living with pain and sorrows. But I need you to get used to it. If you say that I'd love to see you fall, well, just telling you that I've got a purpose for that. Look at what you've become now. That dim light that shone upon you grows brighter and brighter. And everything's up to you to make it even brighter so as you can even see your whole life. Don't bother thinking about me. I'm not worth anything. Bother about yourself. And please, don't ask me out cause I don't think I would want to, and I don't think by doing that would bring me back to you - as a son or whatever. Well, I guess this is a goodbye. Take care of yourself, Kak Ude.

That's all.

Labels : Let love be left unspoken.

2007-10-30T19:06:00.000+08:00

Whee! This blog is kindda secure from spammers and stuffs. So, by the time you've started reading this post, it already means that you're allowed in. Permissions are quite awesome isn't it? Hmm, those I've allowed in, don't worry, I won't be hurting you guys in my posts. They're as clean as a holy book. Chey!

Hmm, Maths Paper 2 was quite a blow up, cause I wasn't in a good condition. I felt nauseous and my tummy's aching me! I suffered those craps for a good half-hour during the exam. How awful was that? Hmm, I just prayed to god to guide me along the way. I simply can't focus, understand? Moreover, it's a major exam I'm sitting for. Allah is always needed when I sat for it. Well, after reciting some prayers, I felt kindda better, but a bit unfocused still. There's alot of question I left blank, to my horror. Hmm, I was just afraid that I'd get worser than a D7, which is unacceptable for Hi-nitec in ITE. It's totally now I expected. What a bummer.

Anyways, I wish this works. I'm getting low-profile now. To all my friends I trusted and let out my secrets to, especially the Unreciprocated Love, you guys are more than just what I needed. I've never threw my tantrums or vulgars to those who hated me, and those who loved me. Patience is the key. That way, I hoped god would smile upon me and all of those I'm with. Unreciprocated Love, you guys are the best!

Hmm, getting low-profile. That's as good as starting a brand new life. Well, I don't have to mention about Muna hating me to the core, you guys know that. Well, I'd just put this to and end, since she doesn't. Why continue to dislike and hate? That'll just haunt our own lives down, right? Would it be better to just forget the source of the problem and move on? Frankly speaking, I've got much bigger things than just me and her. So, I'd just set her and myself free from this. I'm wrong and she's wrong in some ways. I'm right and she's right in some ways. I forget about her and she forget about me. That's quite fair I suppose. So, from now, I won't even bother if she still were to hate me for the rest of her life. Well, this is it I guess. It's like a new relationship being broken up. But I'm just doing what's right. And I still treasure those moments I spent with her. Quite sweet.

That's all.

Labels : The street lights flicker like this match in my hand.

2007-10-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

Okay, these are the photos taken during the outing. But those aren't all of them. I'll post up more yeahs?

That's all.

Labels : Oh my!

2007-10-28T21:46:00.000+08:00

Hell yeah! The past few days was totally awesome! Went for raya with lots of new people, and lotsa houses! Whee! Okay, frankly speaking, I wore the same outfit on both days. Ahaha! At least I washed them and sprayed with perfume, okay? Hmm, surprisingly, most of my cash were gone, and I'm left with only a few cents in my wallet?! What the hell?! Oh well, I'll get money soon when I start working, or would I?

Okay, O-Level's up tommorow. And I'm having THREE bloody papers! Hooblaah! I'm prepared with lotsa glucose to keep myself awak ein those papers. Like, GAWD! How could we possibly be able to get our minds into those papers from morning (0800 hrs) up to about 1630 hrs?! It's totally insane isn't it? Hearing most of my new friends from other schools having just TWO papers tommorow, oh yeah, I just felt like drowning myself in the toilet bowl? Haha! So yeah, all of you got my point right? The examination is getting insane! So does the world, I suppose.

So, what's next? Hmm, I've gotta say I'm having a great life right now. On the other side of my mind, I simply don't understand why that person kept on yacking awful stuffs about me? I mean, don't you have a life to take care of? Well, says you, you wanna let others happy and let you get the misery. You call that care and concern? I call that critical bullshit! Why? Don't ask me, look at yourself. Through reflections, through the mirror. Ask yourself everything you've never asked before. What have you become? You're like this before I'm around, and you're like this even after I'm gone. You're just gonna be this plain piece of *Pfft!* for the rest of your life? Come on, MOVE ON! You said that I want you to die faster? You've just cracked a joke babeh! You're just nuts, you know that? You're too polluted already. So please, it's you who wanted to kill yourself!
You smoke, you slit, what else? Should I say? Oh no I shouldn't. I'm not god. But whatever you do, don't even WASTE YOUR TIME on putting my name in, because you're the one who's doing everything by yourself. I'm living my own life, and nothing involves you, understand? Sheesh!

They called you bitch, slut, whatever. But did I? I just called you "Belo". Is that so OFFENSIVE? It is? Gawd, you're so sensitive. I called you that for a reason you know? You're just too BELO to even think before doing. And you're not immune, you're just too BELO to even feel. Trust me, those are the fact.

So let's get this straight. Why do you hate me? Because you're hurt that I left you? Why did I left you? You think I left you for fun? You think I did this on purpose? Oh, kalau sengaja memang kurang ajar lah kans? But you don't even know the real reason why you were left, right? Pfft. Dasar BELO. There's no use telling you the reason already, cause you'll just be too BELO to even understand. Like always, lain yang orang cakap, lain yang dier faham. Sorry to say, but I think you need more Vitamin D, get what I mean? Expose yourself to the world? Cause you know nothing and purposely made up things. That's just plain stupid. Oh wait, whatever you do wrong, you're always in the wrong, did I said that? Sorry, you're still in dreamland I guess. So WAKE UP!

Well, enough said. Oops! Did I just wasted some of my PRECIOUS time on you?! Aww shits! Oh well, I think I'm better off for studying. THREE papers tommorow! *Doh!

That's all.

Labels : Your beauty caught my eyes, while your character caught my heart!

2007-10-18T21:01:00.000+08:00

Whee! C. Science O-Levels Practical Exam was a blast!

I reached school at around 0900 hrs, thinking that I'll be late for the shift. Gawd! Rushed to school abit, and met 5A1 there. Okay, my class wasn't there yet. That's odd. So, went to the toilet, blah blah blah, and the 5A1 went into the AVA room. Still, my class wasn't there yet. So I looked onto the O-Levels notice board and guess what? I'm in Shift 3! Bleargh! Oh well, sat on a bench and did my revising. Ying Qi and Li Jie were there, and there I went. Few moments later, Alfian joined in too. A group we formed.

Fast-forward.

The practical was a blast! Again! Whee! Physics was just a snap, except that I can't think of ways to inprove the experiment, as what the question asked. Chemistry was abit tricky. I found out that the cation was Zinc, but what was the anion? Carbonate or chloride? Well, who knows? Some of the students even cried struggling in the lab. Figures. Don't worry, you'll be fine babehs!

So, me, Alfian, Mannan and Ariff went for jamming session while waiting for Rid. It was fine. Songs played : The Kill, My Heroine, Sweet Child Of Mine, Unholy Confessions, Chapter 4, The Kill, Warmness On The Soul and The Kill. Gosh, kept playing The Kill. It's their favourite in the session. Awesome!

So, yeah. Went home and started Battlefield 2 with Rushmann. Hehs!

Hmm, speaking of Battlefield 2, someone kinda "yacked" in her blog about another someone being late of watching a Battlefield 2 video in youtube, and called him "Slow"?! Like so what? Why was that even a HUGE deal for someone to watch video? My gawd! That's just so "not grown-up"? I mean, why would someone call the other "slow" for just watching a video late? This just don't make any sense. It' just fate, what can you do about it? Hmm, don't get me started on music to backfire you on that. Nah, no time. I'd rather be bothering on something else rather than you anyways. Haha! I'm not insane, come on. It's fact. Like most said, "Come on, shift off the boring part! Look on others and you'll have fun!" Hell yeah baby!

Next, Rid kinda having problems with a close friend of his. Well, I'd rather not join in, or his "close friend" would YACK-YACK my tagboard again. Bleargh! Anyways, my advice to you. You don't have to bother about the things you can't do anything with. Let 'em be. You've got your own life that's facing problems. "Yourself" always come in first, alright? Cheers from the band!

Okays, I'm bored right now. Going out to have Thosai with my family! Hoo-Haa!

That's all.

Labels : Hell yeah! I'm feeling good!

2007-10-16T00:41:00.000+08:00

Sweet! My blog's back up! Hmm, I got fed up with the codes being messed up. I clicked the "Save Changes" button instead of the "Preview" button. So, that's why. Well, I can't find any blogskins that caught my eye. So I just used the current template. I'm lucky enough that I saved it in my folder, or else.

Well, the tagboard's not back up yet. I've gotta wait for the website to finish up its maintenance as I could get the codes then. So, it won't be long yeah?

I've been playing Battlefield 2 again. Awesome stuff! Enough said.

That's all.

Labels : Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

2007-10-09T19:41:00.000+08:00

First of all I ain't gonna mention anything more about this friendship thinging. I know my rights, I wont get myself in these kinda stuffs. I should say this is a childish kinda thing, am I right to say so? I learnt my stuffs, so let's depend on time and fate to let others learn their stuffs, shall we? After this, I declare this case "closed".

Let's begin.

So, I kinda enjoyed my day today in school. Laughters here and there. I feel great! Never been better. So all these while I've put sorrows and anger and hatred for just one silly issue, I then realised, it's really not worth it at all. We've got better this to worry about, better things to bother and better things to be mindful of, right? Today I got along well with my classmates. Goodness, I've never felt myself for quite sometime. Chis kedondong!!

Well, got home and played Kakak Zilah's PSP, playing 300! Hell yeah! Completed that game twice, and playing it all over just to earn more Kleos (Greeks currency). Meanwhile, I chatted with Muna about some issues, then we went nuts! She tried to mess around with me, I messed with her more! She asked for peace, then hell I'll give her! Nyahaha! Okay, that's too much isn't it? Well, what can I say? You never get too proud till you're defeated. She can't even handle my nonsensical craps, right sweetie? Come on, tag my board and debate more! I'll bring you down like a cockroach that's lost its feelers! Nyahaha! (Whatever that means?)

Okay, I'm done. O-levels are on its way near, and I'm still playing Maple?!

That's all.

Labels : Fedex live to deliver? Then deliver us from evil, for goodness sake?!

2007-10-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

Whee! All of you are invited to take a look on my tagboard, words and more words coming up. Is there even a reason? Oh well. They must be expecting an answer. So here it goes!

Hmm, for Rid, I didn't say my problems with Muna have anything to do with you. What happen was, she got too committed in covering your back against me, somehow against me about that Alfian thinging? Well, I explained some stuffs. She suddenly said that I should think about your feelings AS LIKE think about her feelings to give her time to change. Well, she wondered about what I'm up to alot, and mati-mati nak tau. Great! So I told her off. She wanted to know it so much, there I went. My fault? Think about it.

So next. Hmm, you felt unwelcome and humiliated. By the way, did I laugh when Alfian said to you to gentel your buah? Well, I didn't. And I said something like, "Siak jer kau!" and stuffs like that? You really think I'm that pervertic to laugh about this kind? I joke around WITH limits, buddy. It's your fault for not paying close attention to the surroundings, especially me, understand? By the way, I cared about how Alfian humiliated you. But do you even care about how YOU humiliated us? Remember Sec 3? About what you said to Aidillah and others? I don't know what you said to them, but what left a bunch of dirt on my face was - Aidillah did text me once about US not paying attention and not layan-ing you. Do they even know that it was because we hated your attitude of speaking that bad mouth of yours all around? Remember? Oh sure you do. Because we SOUNDED you for that, right? So, my fault? Think about it.

Next, didn't I say I'm NOT jealous seeing you with Muna? Muna understood what I mean, why can't you? Sorry dude. looks like you're the one misunderstanding this part. Look, unlike you, I am totally not the person who assume things. That'll leave me more at fault. That's why I kept having second thoughts to keep myself safe. Once again, unlike you. Get this straight, there's no jealousy here, understand? So, my fault? Think about it.

Next, yes. I less often ask about your well-being. I'm sorry, but I kept having problems myself. Now you know it? Or you ALREADY know? (Didn't Muna even told you about the lines on my palm? GO ASK HER!) But the thing is, the reason why I'm not letting you know is that you are not the kind of person to tell my problems with. Sorry dude, this is honest speaking. You're the kind who kept memberontak. Like I said in my previous post, "Why bother handling my problems when you can't even handle yourself?" I appreciate your attention. But pay MORE attention to yourself. Kau lupa diri, that's the problem. By the way, I'm not giving you advices? Let me ask you this. Have you lost your brain cells? Your forgot things eh? When you fought with Ain, who adviced? When you found out that Mas smoked, who did you called? When you fought with Rufisha, who spoke to her? I'm sorry to say this, but as Muna said (I think), you remembered your own good deeds, but not others. Wait, you're not the only person whom I NOT tell my problems to ya know? In fact, I NEVER tell my problems to anyone. so why get offended? Didn't I told you this before? Or you simply don't understand? So uhh, my fault? Think about it.

So yeah, you aren't able to understand my emotions because you don't understand yourself. If you don't even understand what I'm saying, gawd, all I can say is, read this post again and again. I can't do anything about it. So, my fault? Think about it.

Finally. Honestly speaking, I don't even know whether should I take a turn back or not. You know what kinda person I'm looking for - Nice, sweet, good-looking, a good heart, cheerful, patient, loving, friendly, smart, and respecting elders. The person who has them all, is perfect to me. I don't mind having a person with one of those missing qualities, as long she has a good heart and knows how to make things right. One more thing, which I'm very particular of - "Vengeance" is never in my dictionary. You can ask one of my ex. We had a HUGE conflict when she's planning to seek revenge against her own bestie. So, my fault? Think about it.

So how do you want me to end this? In order to make you god-damned satisfied, you want me to tell the other band members about what you feel? That was what you suspected me of isn't it? You said, "Ntah2 kau bilang dier, makin teruk nanti." Something like that? How should I say? Hmm, things like, "Eh, Rid tak puas hati ngan kau uh. Aper Muna bilang aku, Rid masih simpan dendam pat kau pasal kau malukan dia ngan Heedayah. Aku ingat outing gi Orchard that time leh settle sumer, aku tau kau nak berubah, but Rid ni buat hal." How's that? That'll just turn me into batu api, right? But was that what you really wanted? Why keep them all inside when you can just blow it out? Am I right? What are you waiting for? Tell 'em off if you dare. Still distrust Alfian on washing his hands? Why don't you ask Muna what I told her about Alfian. She understood. Let's make yourself satisfied, shall we?

Should I say more? Oh wait, I've said too much. And wait, I'm never gonna let out my feelings anymore. Why? Look at what's happened to Muna. I dare not say a word, but I SHOULD say, "I shouldn't have told you that."

That's all.

Labels : Realise your mind, then realise your body. Realise yourself, then realise others, understand?

2007-10-07T19:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I SHOULD say a thing or two in this blog. I could hardly trust anyone getting their hands on my problems. I knew this was always gonna happen. Why even wonder about what I'm suffering when you can't even get a hold of yourself? Why bother handling my problems when you can't even handle yourself? You never knew if I were to suffer more than you. You've got more people to love, on your side, on your back. You even have family members to talk about your problems, to even show them your tears - that's if you wanted to. As for me, I have no-one and nothing to let my feelings off. Oh, this blog? It's just like a mere newspaper that tells you what I'm going through, yet not all of them. What can it do?

First, Rid got pissed about him being the last to know about the Prom Night. All because of himself hating Alfian, and I'm the one to be blame for that he suspect me of probably telling Alfian everything about Rid. Well, what do ya know?

Second, Muna got too committed to make me realise that Rid's feelings should be kept attended. Oh yeah, for years we've done that sweetie, he never even wanna see. So, what happen was, blah blah blah blah, and she want me to think about what she feel and think about giving her time to change. Am I giving you time? Or am I giving you too much time? Well, what explains, everything made me blew out to you about my plans to propose to you on your birthday, since you wanted to know it SO MUCH! Great, I swore to never be in a relationship with you if that plan failed. Instead, it broke out weeks before the day itself! Painful isn't it? Haish. I just wish I could give you my life once again, but I'm sorry. It's happening. Fine, what I did hurt you more than other guys hurt you. So please, I'd rather have you away from me. I'm just like a contaminated perfume making you sick, understand?

From what I can see, you don't need to have me by your side all the time, right? You have him to talk to on the phone till late night, you need him to be with you everytime I invite you to my house, you need him FIRST everytime you wanna let out your feelings, you tell him FIRST about what your going through, and HE was the only person whom you tell your secrets with. Oh I'm not hurt with that. He is like a brother of your own, I can see that. Yes, I can see, that you both are pretty much closer than that. Nah, I'm not suspecting anything. Like I said, you don't need me to be with you when you have him around. That's the fact. Probably that's the reason I'm attempting to leave you both from the very start. I should have, but love brought me back in. Now I realise, I'm just another extra party. Don't get me wrong. I'm never jealous about this. But oh, I'm sorry to bug you guys.

I've got lots more, maybe five or six. But I'm too lazy to write those down, or even telling anyone. I suspect more issues are gonna come by next dawn. Well, I'm ready, sincerely.

That's all.

Labels : I am sincere with what I'm facing. Are you?

2007-09-27T18:39:00.000+08:00

So, today explains. I know I can't live with the fact, but what gives? It's fate. When sometimes I don't believe in fate cause I don't like the idea of me being in control of my life, on the other hand, sometimes fate proved to me that things going on around were true. Especially karma. It happens all the time, understand? Every moment you do, it'll definitely, freakishly shoot back at you. Karma. You can't escape. Not a second.

The main point. To someone, I'm terribly sorry but I've made my decision, and there's no turning back. I'm simply not the perfect person for you. You confidently say that I'm into no care and concern for you. But you never even knew how much I prayed for you, how much I prayed for the both of us to get back together. That is MY way of talking to god, praying. It may seem nothing to you, but love is in his hand to distribute. And instead, god showed me something. It wasn't something I expected, it wasn't something I prayed for. But he showed me. I finally realise that I should stay away. I used to be compelled to keep myself with you, but right now, it's totally something else. And have you forgotten what I did while you left home that moment, and I took my trouble looking for you? Have any of your EX-BOYFRIENDS bother to waste their time for such thing? I don't wanna say, you ask yourself.

I accept the fact that you think I'm changing. Yes, every human being changes under every circumstances. But what I told you, it was a lie. I didn't ignored you because of my prelims. Wait, as a matter of fact, I DIDN'T ignored you. But I stayed away and LEFT! Is that what Juraizat did to you? You were afraid that I might turn out to be like him, is that so? I seriously am so sorry. But after all that happened, I'm beginning to get CURIOUS about why did he change. Have you ever thought of that?

I didn't left you because of my prelims, but because of you. I can't afford to lose my patience any longer. Like I've always said, "Love yourself to love me". You simply just can't get that into your head. You wished that long ago, you were dead; you feel like jumping down from the 12th floor; you don't even care what will happen to you. They just add more wax into my ears, understand? You were talking to Rid on phone while we're still in school, Rid handed it to me but I just don't feel like talking. But when he forced to, yeah, I took it. I'm sorry to lie, saying that I was okay. You know I'm not, don't you? Good. You should still keep asking yourself why.

Anyways, your issues, making you throw your tantrums on me - I've forgive you WITHOUT your apology. But ask yourself, to what extent do you understand the term "Apology"? Is it admit, realise and apologise your mistakes and NEVER do it again? Or is it just to make others forget about it, settle the problem and you're free to do the same thing over and over? I learnt this mistake while I was still with Ariani. That's why I kept myself silent when you called her bitch. Now everything shoots back at you. You understand the whole thing now?

Now I'm making this final. To what I felt, I think we were closer while being in the mother-son relationship. We never argue. Please, look at ourselves now. We're in a mess. And if I never had my patience to keep forgiving you, this mess wouldn't have been tidy up for a long time. I'm sorry, Sweetheart. But I guess I'm going. Since you assume that I didn't care about you, and since you can't seem to take simple words of advices. We ain't in any relationships yet, and nothing seems to work. Okay, I know part of this was my fault for always making the wrong move. But so you know, I've always did trouble to get myself to you. So, without saying much, I'm stopping all these. I'm really sorry to disappoint you, and your family. But I'm doing this for a purpose, for a reason. When they ask, you tell them why.

That's all.

Labels : I swear I saw this coming.

2007-09-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

I'm making this short. First of all, I'm taking up lots of time to calm myself down about the bloody exam results I had. Yes, I call it "bloody". There's a lot of red marks and underlines and crosses, understand? It sucks - big time.

Next, I'm gonna take lots of time to finish up my unfinished business. To hell with 'em all.

Finally, I ain't available to contact these few moments. Again, I'm gonna take lots of time to gather up bits of money to buy myself a prepaid card. Phone prepaid's almost gone. Sorry.

That's all.

Labels : That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your death.

2007-09-23T11:22:00.000+08:00

Bleargh! I'm having sore throat now. And my voice really sounds deep. Real deep as though I took dozens on puffs from a thick cigar! Ouch.

Okay, I really enjoyed much yesterday with Dearie. At first, I really had heavy eyes in the morning while having Chemistry class from 1000-1200hrs. Then, decided to head to the Longkang cause of thinking that Dearie's willing to wait for me to come, even for hours. It crossed my mind, quite so. So, headed there, and she's relieved. Glad to cheer her up, but I can't speak. It's because of my throat bleeding yesterday night. Coughs. It hurts my throat real bad.

I tried to speak, but seriously, I can't. All that came out of my mouth weren't voices, but air. Oh well, I took out my phone and typed in what I had to say. There's this one moment, I typed in "You look sweet..! =)", sat beside her and showed the text. She gave me that sweet smile, and I gave her a warm hug - Di tepi longkang! Haha! Well, we spent our lovely times there till 1400hrs, when we had to meet Rid and Mas after their Art class.

Took 962 from SunPlaza towards Woodlands, then headed to my home. Well, that explains.

At home, Rid played with Ameen and Ameerul's hamsters. Gawd! They're a couple of cuties! Hmm, then all of us went into Mak and Ayah's room to play Sims 2. That was the time they saw me and Dearie's character, making out?! Haha! Dearie closed my eyes, forbiding me to see what those characters were doing. Like hello! I've seen enough everytime I played the game! Haha!

Hmm, after being bored of it, Dearie asked me to help her to train her Maple Story character. Gosh, how cute. Hehe!

By then, my voice came back slowly. Yipee!

At 1850hrs, I rushed to the kitchen and began cooking instant noodles for all of us, for break fast. And whew! It tasted awesome!

At around 1945, we left to Woodlands MRT because Rid had to meet Min for terawih prayers. Mas had to go home too. So, left with me and Dearie. We went to Causeway Point and bought bubble tea for the both of us, my treat! Hmm, then we headed to bazaar, looking for foods here and there. It's boring though, not as merry as those previous years. Shocked to know, I met Qistina there. Haha! Old friend suddenly said out "Hello Khai!" Haha! So yeah, we then went to Fushan Garden.

Wow, all I could say, it's the most beautiful night I've spent with someone I loved. I won't say much, but hugs and kisses were loved! Haha! We're NAUGHTY!

So, ended the day by sending her home as usual, and home sweet home.

That's all.

Labels : That's why the rest of us are just going to ENJOY the show!

2007-09-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

Should I say, today really sucked? Honestly. What's going on? And why are people really messing things up and tossing every single issues of theirs at me? Can I know the answer to that question? It's that god-damned question that brought me writing in this blog. It's that god-damned question that left me wondering and scratching my head, HARD!

First of all, a bunch of male crooks really threw their words here and there, in the MRT, on my way home from prayers. Who they were? I seriously have no idea. Pekik tak tentu arah macam train ni bapak kau yang beli sejak kau kecik gitu. You've got future, and ... I'm seriously wondering why you do. Whatever. At least I alighted before they do.

Next, after break fast, I really coughed my throat hard. The cough with distorted sound, that kinda stuff. You know? Right, I felt like something came out of my throat. I thought it was that "kahak" that I coughed out. Rushed to the sink, spitted them all out. And guess what was that? It's blood.

Which vividly reminds me of my throat infection I had last year. But this time, more blood, and really bloody. Told Muna about it and she got panicked. Great! I coughed out blood for like about two times more, and my chest started to hurt real bad. Layed myself on the sofa and drank the barley drink Ameen bought. No effect.

Fine. I just went on with the night like an idiot being all alone at home. Apparently, more sources for headaches came by. And that sucks.

Okay, I was told to help out in an arguement between Iqbal and Hazril, old friends I guess. One was against the other for a lady. Yes, sweet-looking indeed. But a bitch inside. Tudung before, tatoos then. Come on, you guys are men of your own religion. Can't you guys get better? So, yeah. I told them those. And guess what? Both of them got really burnt up about my words. What the fish?! I was really trying to save you guys there okay? Since one of you can't give in, why not if both of you don't get her at all? Afterall, she's really bitchy!

They both threw me with blah blah and blahs. I didn't say a word and just left the conversation. It's always better to talk with your own sweetheart, isn't it? So, I started typing down my sweet talks to her. And shitly, before I could, I was invited by those two again, and threw me with those blah blah and blahs again! Urgh! Screw you, bastards! Splat, splash, blush, dush. Words flew here and there. Don't wanna talk about it.

Of course, it really turned my day down, doesn't it? I really had no mood to talk, and seriously, I don't. Muna talked to me about her stuffs, and I just read what she said. Cigarrettes, clan, other stuffs. Okay, I just replied with a word or few. And heck, she suddenly blew up? Why? What the heck did I do wrong? Then she said that she's going off. Okay. And she'll meet me tomorrow IF she has the mood. That REALLY does it! Why not if you don't meet me at all? Would that cheer you up?

I don't understand why are all these happening to us. But what I kept thinking was, we aren't in any relationship YET. But we kept having quarrels here and there. Doesn't it seems like there's something wrong here? I don't know. You should ask yourself. And you know what? I just wished you know how devoted I've always been to you ; carving your name on the desktop, creating OUR characters in the Sims 2 game, staring at your photo you gave me. Now that it's happening, I'm beginning to have doubts.

That's all.

Labels : I was compelled to stay, compelled to disobey.

2007-09-20T14:10:00.000+08:00

Okay, I just woke up from bed. Still, I'm worn off like I've just got back from a long journey. Heck, I only got to school to attempt a 1 hour paper and got my ass back home. There's seriously nothing much to do outside. And I just wanna plan on going out with Dearie today. Instead, she've already planned to go to Longkang with Rid and Hidayah, and I'm forbidden to come along. Pfft. Whatever.

Hmm, I'm not in a good mood right now. Frankly speaking, I'm in need of better rest than I always had. Argh! I'm not afraid to throw this phone against the wall and watch it die off while its pieces being opened up to pieces, okay?! Yeah, okay, fine. I'm fasting, so I can't.

That's it! I'm going to bed and let these millions of thoughts flow through.

That's all.

Labels : I hated this place. It's the SMELL!!

2007-09-18T20:47:00.000+08:00

Goodness. It's only 2245 hrs, and I'm going off to bed real soon. I don't feel good at the moment, and I mean REALLY! Sometimes I don't even know whether I'm sick or just TOO WEAK. Either way, they really sucked. Furthermore, it came bothering me in the exam period. Can tell me how sucky that'll be? I held in my anger and frustration inside so as not to hurt anyone, especially Dearie. She's not feeling well herself. And I'd thought I'd have to be more selfless.

Heat's raging up in my body. It took me dozens of strength just to type while chatting. And at one sucky moment, I was half-way to replying Dearie in MSN. I really can't take it nomore. Rested on the chair for a while and struggled my way to the washroom. Gawd, that's awful! I splashed myself into the huge tub of water, although I'm still in my clothing. The cold, the breeze, it's like I've been craving for it for years! The coolest thing was, the water became really warm after I got out. Haha!

Dried myself up and changed my clothes. Well, I felt cool for awhile. Got back on the PC and continued chatting with Dearie. Gosh, how could I leave her just like that?!

Hmm, just a slight relief as I said. And I'm still having a few aches here and there. Really weak.

That's all.

Labels : I'm still "Only Human"!

2007-09-17T21:09:00.000+08:00

Whee!! I'm in Muna's house, updating this blog. It looks dead isn't it? Great! I'm back in to keep it alive! Hmm, this maybe a short post cause I've gotta go soon.

Hmm, she's somewhere beside me, watching TV. Looking at her and her smile. Argh! Melts! Haha! Shh! Hmm, I'm getting along well with her family though. Feels so good to be accepted in. Ooo-yeah! Erm, what else should I say? I went to the Bazaar with her to buy some foods for break fast. A MUST buy was the Putu Bambu, her mom's favourite. Haha! Mesti menang hati "Ibu Mertuaku". Oh gawd...

That's all.

Labels : I've gotta say, I'm starting to believe in you, too.

2007-09-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm really tired right now. All worn off. Work yesterday was such a murderer. But thirty four bucks ain't that bad I guess. Hmm, tomorrow's schooling. Part of me can't wait for it, while others are pulling me away. I've not done any of the homeworks, that's my doom.

Anyways, holidays are really weird. The thing that came up a few days ago was that someone suddenly came telling me to forget her. Whatever reasons for it. What was expected for me to do? Kneel down? Sorry, I've got my own harga diri and I don't wanna waste my time for those. I don't wanna waste my time asking what happened also. Cause I'll leave it to you to ask yourself. Me? Bersabar sajer lah. Mesti ada hikmah disebaliknya. =)

Bang! There goes the lightning! Or is it? Whatever.

I'm really glad for my Abang Sabar and Kak Ti. They came over just now and got along with us. Watched some videos during their wedding and had feasts together. Perfect!

Erm, I've gotta log off. I'm in the net cafe okay? Time's up!

That's all.

Labels : Enemies must we be?

2007-09-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

Erm, this might be a short post. I've got not much to talk about. These few days Muna, Rid and Heedayah have been coming to my house for studying. But instead, I tempted them into watching Hikmah 2 and 3 from the CDs I had. They just couldn't take their eyes away from watching them! Nyahaha! Hmm, well. I'm getting really bored at home all alone with my maid and my disabled sis, Kak Ayu. There's nothing much I can do here. I missed my family somehow. Wondered how is it like in Pangkor.

I'm running short of money. It's like I've been the one paying for all the groceries for my survival. Dad gave me a hundred bucks before leaving to Pangkor. I spent about 30 bucks , treating myself and Muna on Gela're. Haha! Damn! The ice-cream was so ... OOOOHHH!!! Okays, I went to Causeway Point just now to do some shopping - somehow. Bought Gatsby Moving Rubber (purple), Gillete shaver, Oral-B toothbrush and Option wallet (black). Erm, was that even shopping? Whatever.

Hmm, I'm heading to school tomorrow. In my new look - new hairstyle and Abang Sabar's glasses. Awesome isn't it? I just need atmosphere. I'm in a lot of mood to grab some air in town. Maybe to Singapore River? Gawd! I need someone to tag along!

Oh wait. Before I end this, I just wanna put in news that I got injured last Friday, during Cross Country. Actually, everything was fine till the end of Teachers' Day concert. The left side of my left foot ached real bad! What's more? I even went to town with Muna on that day itself. Erm, weird?

It still didn't cured much till now.

That's all.

Labels : You like what I've done with the place?

2007-09-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

Unreciprocated Love ; LIVE on Teachers' Day!

YES! I've finally got myself into blogging! I've got lotsa story to tell, but unfortunately I'm in the Net Cafe'. So I've not much privacy here. Damn, I miss you guys! MSN, Friendster, phone, wherever. Thanks heaps for tagging my blog yeah? I love you people alot!

My heart eased down last Thursday after the Teachers' Appreciation Week performance. Nope, I didn't perform during Teachers' Day itself. Sucks isn't it? But oh well, at least the whole school got to witness it. This thinging began first thing in the morning, which also sucks anyways. I didn't slept the whole night thinking about it. Even if I did, it'll be just a few moments! And what I dreamt about was us performing on stage and did really well. Haha! Crap! Anyways, I was shivering myself in school before morning assembly. In my outfit, navy blue long-sleeved Tee, jeans and black blazer, everyone stared at me. Shits!

So uhh, let's fast forward shall we?

It was our turn and I looked damn nervous. Said my speech which was a long one. If I could recall, it went like this:

"Hey guys! Uhh, good morning. I'm Khai, the guy with the electric guitar is Alfian and the bassist is Ridaudin. We're the Unreciprocated Love. And umm, we're glad to have Aisyah and Jason to play the acoustics with us. So umm, the song we're gonna play is call Your Guardian Angel orginated by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. And this song is for all the teachers down here, mainly Mr. Trevor, Mrs Azwiza, Miss Anna Low, Mrs Lau and Miss Zhang. You guys have given us lots of love in this year of 2007 and before. This would be our final year in this school, and umm .. before we leave, we'd love to see you guys smile for one, last time.."

And the crowd went AWWW!! Ahaha! And I went on ..

"Anyways, umm, before we begin, I'd like to say a few lines of a poem, and this is for the teachers here. So umm, here it goes.

'My gift is my song,
and this one's for you.
And you can tell everybody,
that this is your song.
It may be quite simple,
but now that it's done.
I hope you don't mind,
that I put down in words.
How wonderful life is,
now you're in the world.'

.... and with that, ladies and gentlemen, we are the Unreciprocated Love, giving you Your Guardian Angel. Enjoy"

So the crowd cheered out loud and we started. I was kinda pissed off that my voice can't be heard from the mic. Alfian blasted his amplifier and the AVA crew can't be bothered to turn my mic volume up. At the bridge of the song, I had to raise my tune and voice and that was when the crew increase the volume. It was damn loud okay? And the crowd kinda closed their ears! Dammit! After all those, I went to the sidestage and sat down with my mouth shut. Then we recieved texts from our friends that we did real great! They loved us for god sake! Whoo! That eased me down abit. So, we continued our day with class parties and MORE CLASS PARTIES!

So umm, I'm alone at home for a week. My family went to Pangkor and Abang Sabar and his newly wedded wife, Kak Ti went to honeymoon. Congrats bro. Selamat Belated Pengantin Baru! Hah!

That's all.

Labels : What's the use of being in love when your best love betrayed you?

2007-08-27T20:31:00.001+08:00

Gawd! Today's such a lovely day! That's the reason why I can't wait to get to school! Haha! Okay, I'm not gonna talk about anything else but this. I didn't go to Maths lesson after school, neither did Alfian. We went to his house and grabbed the electric guitar, bass and the two amplifiers and head back to school. That's where the fun began.

I wasn't notified that there's a rehearsal today. I thought it's just another practice? Oh well. Mdm Vani and Mdm Sunita came to witness the whole thing, sort of. 4E2 had to rehearse alot of times because of their formation. They just looked like an investiture of some sort. Mr Raj then came as the overall witness. Other teachers and himself kinda giggled seeing Alex sang just now. Syiok sendiri sia!

Kat and Efasha was next. Okay, they sounded pretty sweet. Just nice to hear for a duet. Practice for a couple of times too.

Well, Mdn Vani then announced, "Participants! You all can go. Committees, stay behind!" What the heck! That's it? Urgh, well. I then yelled to Aisyah if she wanna start jamming on stage. Of course! We brought in all of the other bands along! First off all, we started practising my band's song - Your Guardian Angel. I kinda sounded better when the song was tuned down by half. Okay, we're great! Then we played 4E2's song - Perfect. Again, Alex is kinda funny with his movements. Haha! Then we're free, and played lotsa songs. List 'em down? Here we go.

It's My Life - Bon Jovi
All about you - McFly
My Sacrifice - Creed
Sweet child of mine - Guns N' Roses
The Reason - Hoobastank
Lots more...!

And just one more thing. Yusri suggested that we merge in all the bands for the grand finale. Whoah. That's kinda awesome. We've decided to play That Thing You Do by The Wonders for that. Oh gawd! I just can't wait for it! I'm so touched. All of our final year in this school, and there's lots of performances waiting for us! What's more, merging bands is really lovely! This Friday, SEE US ROCK ON STAGE!

That's all.

Labels : The only way to get there is together.

2007-08-24T20:14:00.000+08:00

Yes ah! I'm so in love with my life right now. Being an asshole who's really nervous about a rehearsal! Ahaha! Well, I didn't go for Friday prayers and went for D&T class instead. It's been a long time since I've attended that class. I've been practicing with my band. Lovely, isn't it? So, waited for my band members to reach school at around 1415 hrs, and waited for the rehearsal to start at the same time. And I was god damned nervous about the rehearsal! I practised my singing on my own. Aisyah finally came! Yes! Borrowed her guitar and went up to the hall for the practice. And thank god, Alfian and Rid finally came with their instruments before the rehearsal.

Fast-forward. It was our turn and I acted like an idiot. Everyone was like, cheering for us?! Damn! They loved us! So, yeah. After the sound checks, we started playing Your Guardian Angel. I almost lost my tone, but alhamdulillah, it all went well. Alfian was shocked that I was able to reach the highest tone. Guess what? That was awesome!

After the rehearsal, the rest of the other guitarists and singers gathered on stage with us. I'm really touched, Azmil and his guitarist is willing to join us on playing Your Guardian Angel! Welcome aboard! So, we played songs like the stage's ours! Simple Plan - Perfect, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel, Mcfly - All About You and a new song Azmil and his guitarist wrote by themselves. Gosh, we had the whole time there, and me with the microphone! Alex Wee sang along, and his movements were hilarious! Haha! My tummy hurts!

Hmm, I went back to D&T class after all those, till around 1845 hrs. Went down and looked for the rest of my friends. Instead, there were only Sec 2 campers in the canteen. No doubt, there's alot of noise. Well, Eeika and Wanee was the first I met there. And Eeika was way more friendly than I thought. Wow, that's lovely! Haha! The rest of the Sec 2 girls were like offering me their dinner they didn't finish up. Gosh, how could I say yes? I'm bloated! Haha!

Well, I just got to know that someone's got a new guy in her life. Finally, it's what I expected. I'm here wishing you a sweet and lovely relationship with him, okays? And I'm proud that you've got over with that "Love phobia" of yours. Take care!

That's all.

Labels : Who's with me?

2007-08-23T19:48:00.000+08:00

Oh sweet! Today's such an awesome day for me! Well, at the same time, we're really stressing out about the Teacher's Day celebration. Sad to those who were not selected for the performance. But, whether we're selected or not, it's just the same! I mean, what do you feel when you perform on stage for only teachers sitting around a round table arranged in the hall, and students aren't there? What if the teachers don't cheer out for you? You won't feel appreciated, right? Anyways, it's no longer our problem. My band we're in, but had to play in the foyer for our school - sentimental musics.

Just now after school, I didn't turn up for maths lesson. Hehe! I am such a bastard! Oh, no worries, I'll think of an excuse soon. Just a snap, won't bother. So, me, Alfian and Aisyah brought their acoustics and we started practicing in the canteen. No shame! We played songs like Your Guardian Angel and The Reason. The other students sang along! Holy shit! They love us?! Ahaha! Anyways, I'm confident enough that my voice is as stable as moving air. I'm loving it. We've finally picked Your Guardian Angel to be our song of choice. Ohhh ... this is gonna be lovely!

Tomorrow's another rehearsal. Please, we've gotta do our best! And for goodness sake, I just can't wait!

That's all.

Labels : Brother's getting married!

2007-08-19T20:46:00.000+08:00

Hah Ha! What a day! Well, I always thought that Sundays are gonna be boring, like of course. Today's something special. Seri came to Mom's stall with Eeila. I was still at home playing Muhaimin's PSP till I got Seri's text that she's already there. Holy shits! I rushed down and towards Block 111. So, at the coffeeshop, Seri and Eeila were sitting in pairs at one table facing each other. Eeila saw me coming, and I showed her that "Shh!" handsign. And she was like "Eh! Hah! Okay...Shh!". I sneaked behind Seri and was like, popped out by her side? She was shocked okay? Ahaha! Sorry sis!

So, they changed their seats to another table, a bigger one. Took their orders. Seri wanted Mee Hong Kong, waited for it for a long time already! Ahaha! Then, Eeila wanted Mee Tom Yam. Makanan yang takda pat menu pun boleh nah kau order eh! Haha! Told my mom about the order, but she said that there's no ingredient for Tom Yam. Haha! Best! Rushed to Eeila and said, "Erm, Akak? Mee Tom Yam tak ada. Lain order?" Hah! So, she simply ordered Mee Hong Kong as well. Had such a great time! Even in a coffeeshop, nothing special. I joined them on the table with only my Soya Bean drink. Awesome!

After slurping their noodles ( =P), they went into the stall and watched my mom cooked. Ahaha! Dua anak dara nie! Thanks girls! You really made our day! Well, Seri's in love with Pisang Goreng as well. Wanted to give her free, but she's paying for it instead. How sweet! Wahaha! So, off they went at around 1550 hrs, to the library.

Chatting with Seri right now, and she's really in such a hyper mood! Like what the hell?! Ahaha! Hmm, she thanked me alot about this afternoon and really wished to volunteer my mom in her stall. Gawd, so soon?! Awesome! Well, I just agreed. She's really delighted about it. Heh!

Okay, tomorrow's schooling. I've not done any of my homeworks and I'm gonna be in deep trouble. Joycelyn said that she has two piles of Maths Paper 2. Shit! I've only one of it! Maybe it came from that Thursday when I was absent from school? Great, that explains it.

This, is for the bastard who've always been pissing me off. Throw me with you're words again, I won't even care. I won't even give a damn. I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of US. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here, to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm getting outta here, and then I'm going to show the people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible.

Where we go from there .. is a choice I leave to you.

That's all.

Labels : No change is inevitable.

Fireworks!

2007-08-19T17:33:00.001+08:00

Fireworks! And I'm the noisiest!

2007-08-19T02:10:00.000+08:00

Ouh gosh. Look at the time. And I'm still blogging! Maybe I'll do some posting before I'm off to bed okays? So, today was such a hell of a huge fun! At first, Rid's having some problems with this and that, here and there. Well, that's the reason why I've planned for today's outing. Anyways, I got dressed up and out of the house. Went straight to Mom's shop to have lunch. Yummy Nasi Ayam! Haha! Hmm, then Dad gave me 20 bucks cause I was really in need of money. So, rushed to Woodlands Mrt to meet up with Muna.

Well, Muna wasn't there yet. So I waited of course. And as usual, I'm always the most punctual one. Sheesh! Muna finally came at 1602 hrs, when we were supposed to meet Rid at Yishun Mrt latest by 1600 hrs. Awesome, isn't it? Haha! Well, we missed the train, and waited for the next one. As we reached Yishun, Rid wasn't there yet, he was waiting for Mas. Argh! Buat penat aku jer kelam-kabut! Haha! Oh well! At least they came. 4 people for an outing was more than just a BLAST for me. So off we go!

Frankly speaking, me and Muna made our own craps all the time. I punched her, she pinched me. I looked at her, she smiled at me. I walk, she walk. And stuffs like that? Hehe! Whatever. So, we dropped off at Orchard and I led them to Far East Plaza to buy myself a blazer at Lips Enterprise. And guess what? The blazer of my choice isn't there. There's only other blazers that looks like the Mat-typos and Businessmen. What the heck?! Never mind. Off we went to City hall then, on foot. Bleargh! I rained previously, right? Floors are sliperry. Muna's afraid of it. Well that's because she wearing SLIPPERS! Footwears that causes you to SLIP and fall! Get it? Haha! She grabbed my arms and walked carefully. Macam orang kene phobia gitu. Ya allah ya raa'bi.

Met Wei Sheng before reaching Peninsula Plaza. So, we got in there, and into the basement. Okay, I've found this blazer that looked exactly like Rid's. But the thing was, it's size is XS, and there's only ONE size in the shop. Oh my gawd! Isn't that pathetic? Well, it fits my broad shoulder, the sleeves are abit shorter. Heck it. It costs me 45 bucks! So, purchased it of course. Whee!

Alright, here comes the fun part. Me, Rid, Muna and Mas went to the Merlion area to get ready for the fireworks. Erm, reached there at around 1900 hrs? Sat around the edge of the platform and waited for merely 2 hours. We ain't bored. Rid and Mas even bought their cup noodles from 7-Eleven in CityLink and ate them all up. I shared my Super Big Gulp with Muna. Huhuhu! Fuad was there. Erm, our Daddy, I should say? He's wearing brown blazer, and I'm wearing black. Great! Like father like son! Ahaha! Crap!

Rid got news that Fadilah's around the area. So, we picked her up then. She was with Nadia and her boy, I think. Yeap, Fadilah joined us!

So, 2100 hrs! It all began. Colours By The Bay started becoming dark and spotlights were totally awesome everywhere. Spotlights. They shone to the night sky and I kept saying, "Eh! Batman datang! BATMAN DATANG!" Heh! Then the first fireworks started booming off. Shocked. We went like the "Oh mak kau!" kinda reaction of some sort. Haha! Grabbed Muna's phone and started recording it. It's such a spectacular! The colours, the bright sky, and erm ... the smoke? So much for Live Earth! Hehe! I could say that I was the one being most noisy there. Like hello, fireworks aren't everytime, don't you think so? "Eh tu! Eh, tu tu! Wah!"

The last part was the most noisiest and the brightest fireworks ever. That made a really great ending for the event. Hmm, well. Everyone dispersed after which.

Fast-forward, shall we? Us and Rid's classmates went to the War Memorial and took LOTS and LOTS of our photos. Can't wait to have them! Should I say, we took our photos like as if there's no more tomorrow? Ahaha! Awesome!

Hmm, so we headed straight home, by MRT. Once again, Muna sat beside me and we started all craps! I played Burnout Dominator from Muhaimi's PSP, she watched, and laughed everytime I crashed. Kurang asam. She've got migrane by the way. She told Rid (on her left) and me (her right) that she might be laying her head on either of our shoulder. Oh well, not a problem. I just listened to music through PSP and dreamt on. Suddenly Muna's head dropped onto my shoulder. Oh mak! Well, okay. Make yourself feel comfortable, MOTHER! Hehe!

Well, the rest of our friends dropped off at Yishun and Sembawang. And sweetly, Muna dozed off to sleep on my shoulder. Oh my gawd. Tak sakit ke kepala kau kene tulang?! Haha! Soon enough, we dropped off to Woodlands.

Muna's waiting for Fuad to send her home. While waiting, I accompanied Muna to get some food cuase she's hungry. I'ts already 0045 hrs! So, we wanted to go to Causeway Point's Mac. It's closed. To Civic Centre's Mac. It's clossed, too. Haish. Well, headed back to Causeway Point and just ate Burger King there. Treated her abit with the meal and joined her. I'm more thirsty okay?! Hmm, Fuad wasn't there. He told Muna to meet him at Causeway Point but he wasn't there. Bleargh. Even after the last train. Oh well, I then decided to send Muna home. Tak baik anak dara balik malam-malam! Hmm, her house was somewhere near Evergreen Secondary, and we went there on foot. Whoah. Me and my sleepy eyes already! So I headed straight home, and here I am!

That's all.

Labels : Erm .. Haha?

2007-08-18T12:43:00.000+08:00

Okay, I just got back home from Social Studies class. Ergh, I felt kindda weak right now. Moaned all the way in class, silently. Haha! Well, that Thursday I didn't turned up to school, right? Well, I did sit-ups for like 70 times on that day. Dah takda kerja lain! Well, of course! I wanna lose weight and at least have some muscles! Woo! I looked at myself in the mirror and was like, "Kudutnyer......". So, my tummy cramped just now, all because of that.

Anyways, I can't wait to get to town later on. I'm gonna get what I finally wished for - Black Blazer! Huhuhu! Erm, Rid told me yesterday that he can't buy stuffs in Bugis cause he don't have much money. Next, he told me just now that he wanna meet us after Asar prayers cause it'll get boring if we went out too soon. Haha! Macam-macam lah kau!

Erm, talk about yesterday? English Oral was abit of a disaster. My kinda guy kept shivering at room temperature. So, what's more in air-conditioned room? Hmm, I rushed back to school after Friday prayers, and it rained. So, obviously I was drenched. When I reached school, dashed up to the library (the 4th storey! Urgh!) and headed in. And holy shits! The room was damn cold! I waited for my turn for about an hour. So, that means I've suffered in the cold for about an hour. Brr?

Then it was my turn to get to the silent-reading table. Placed my big but on the chair and shivered my whole body. And ... the table shook as well! Haha! Gawd. The teacher beside me who took the timing also giggled abit, same goes to the rest of my friends at the back.

Time's up. Got into the room and greeted the invigilators, gave my IC (hands shaking) and sat down. Okay, I'm damn lucky that the room was only conditioned with fans. So, read the passage with some hiccups and so on.

That's all.

Labels : Sorry about the mix up, Sweetie.

2007-08-16T11:48:00.001+08:00

Hmm, I'm feeling sick right now. Gosh, definitely at the wrong time! But thank god, the English Oral for O-Levels is tomorrow, not today. Haish, well, hopeully I'll get better by tomorrow in one shot. I really don't feel so good right now.

Hmm, I don't know how my friends are doing in school right now. It's raining and I don't feel good about it. Guys, bring in some good news yeah?

Now for the great part. I've joined Alfian and the other girls in performing for Teachers' Day. And oh goodness, we're playing Sweet Child of Mine acoustic, and I'm the vocalist! Oh gawd oh gawd! I'm in such a shiver right now. Well, the idea is to tune down the song so it sounds kindda low, if I'm not wrong. And, I've gotta sing with Bon Jovi's voice. Hell yeah! Now we're rockin'! I've fooled myself on stage during Talentime's Quest in Sec 3. But this time, it's definitely a "no-no".

We're gonna need Rid to be the bassist. So Rid, I've made an opportunity for you. Welcome aboard!

Next, my plans for this Saturday. Rid wanna go to Bugis to buy some stuffs, if I'm not wrong. Well, we're gonna have Social Studies class from 1000 hrs to 1200 hrs. I'll get home and get changed. But before we get to Bugis, I'm gonna go to Far East Plaza to buy myself a black blazer! You're gonna be mine! Then, we'll go to Bugis to buy Rid's stuffs. And finally, we're going to City Hall in the evening to watch more fireworks! Oh yeah! It's gonna be a BLAST!

Erm, I know I should say this, because I care. I'm missing Bestie so much. I chatted with Nabila and she invited me to view a webcam. I'm never gonna say "no"! Should I? So there I saw her, and her friends in Bestie's house. And I saw Bestie, in her Saosin tee which I gave her. Aww! Hmm, but then, I've got news from Nabila that the guy friends played ball there and broke a glass. SHITS! Moreover, Bestie's bleeding! Oh gawd! I'm worried sick right now. Still, I didn't recieved any news about her.

Haish, Bestie. Be okay, please? =')

That's all.

Lables : So much for "Live Earth".

2007-08-15T06:53:00.000+08:00

Okay, I wanna add something up before I'm off to school. I heard most of you have been texting me but I didn't reply, right? Alright, the truth is my prepaid is really already empty. Which means it's $o.oo. Awesome? Yeah, so I won't be able to recieve any texts yet. I'm not planning to top it up first, though. I'm saving money to buy myself a black blazer whish costs me about 50 bucks. I have to own it before Teachers' Day. To those, hope we'll keep in touch again alright?

Labels : Hmm, have fun.

2007-08-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

Mmm, I'm not feeling well. That's all. I just don't smile like before anymore. Which kindda something great for myself. Proven, I'm more commited towards studies, I think. But then, MILLIONS of thoughts ran through my head. They really distracted me, pulling my mind off. Gosh, I just wish I could have someone to talk to. I honestly do. Aches grew worse all the time. Physically, mentally, and even feelings. Gawd, I can't even see my ways. You know how it feels like?! Oh, it feels like you're lost in the forest at night, and batteries in your torchlight went off. Sucky isn't it?

Why? Why am I turning myself into this kindda fate suddenly? Is it because god wanted it to be this way? Or it's simply because I chose to? I'm stranded.

Well, I used to keep on comforting others with thei problems. I loved the way I was. But ever since about a month ago, things started to change. And what I could tell you is, things went darker and darker everytime. I've lost my self-confidence, and everything.

Erm, there's one more thing that's hurting me right now. But it'll just hurt someone, that's for sure. So, let's just drop it, okay?

Anyways, I've made my decision on not to re-attempt my Mother Tongue O-Levels. It's not that I don't have ny more money. It's just that .. haish. I don't wanna take anymore risks. Look, fate is just irreversible. You can't simply erase a mistake you've made on a typewriter, correct? Hell yeah, that's fate.

Hmm, English Oral for O-Levels are on this Friday, and Science Practical for Prelims are end of this month. Haish, I can't lose hope can I? Well, I'm gathering all my courage now. Just pray that I'll do well, awesome?

That's all.

Labels : Sometimes promises are meant to be broken - even love.

2007-08-13T18:29:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I'm just disappointed. Alot. I thought I did well for Mother Tongue O-levels? I even included in some peribahasa for Paper 1, and lotsa effort in Paper 2. It's just doesn't make any sense. Have the markers done any mistakes in in papers? Hell yeah, I hope they do. Damn, this isn't fair at all. I just wanna look at my papers once again. What the hell have I done wrong on it? It's just .. Urgh!!

I knew problems are gonna come up, and I said that I'm prepared for it. So, you see what happened now. I've got a C6 for Mother Tongue O-Levels, and at least a Merit for my Oral. Gosh, I'm just so disheartened. I sat down in the canteen and thought about my plans for the future. I've dreamt of going to Poly, but how could I, with my Malay results like this?! A C6. 6 points is just .. too much. My Maths and Science are hopeless, my English is really going down, D&T - oh I hope I'll have distinction for it, Humanities - I'm dead in Geography but my Social Studies is quite improving, I think. Where's hope when I needed it?

Well, positive thoughts. Lets see. Abang Khairi used to tell me, "Jangan takut masuk ITE. You'll still have you future in there. Tengok kakak kau. Dia fail Malay masuk ITE. Tau-tau kluar ITE jer dah jadi Stewardess. Besh kan tu?" Hmm, something like that. He even said that Kak Zilah and himself organised a gig by their Student Councillor Board. Fun isn't it? There's floorball too. Hmm, I just can't think.

If I could even recall back, I think Kak Zilah did re-attempted her Mother Tongue O-Levels. I don't know. Should I? Mas said that she don't wanna risk taking another attempt, as being afraid that she'll fail again. Urgh! I don't know! Seriously! Help!

Next, Alfian said that Teacher's day auditions are starting from next Wednesday. And HOLY SHIT! So soon?! Argh! I'm pressured! I asked Alfian if we're gonna perform. But guess what? He said that he's performing Sweet Child of Mine acoustic with the other girls. Way to leave your band behind, dude. Way to go.

Right now, I'm thinking of what song I'm gonna play and who's gonna play it with me. I've got no one left. Rid wanna join in, but he kept suggesting songs that are damn IMPOSSIBLE to play. Like, hello? How many people do we have? Haha. A Vacant Affair? Oh my god. Help, please?

Anyways, it's really our last year in this school. All I ever wanted is, to perform our best on stage.

That's all.

Labels : I'm in need of a miracle.

2007-08-13T06:53:00.000+08:00

Urgh. Before I set off to school, I just wanna say that I'm really nervous this morning. Well, O-levels Mother Tongue results are today. And its freaking me off. God, show me something nice? Amin.

Labels : May all blessings be with us.

2007-08-12T19:26:00.000+08:00

Hmm, my blogskin? Nope, it's not original. Bestie gave me its template months ago. I just edited it here and there. So, here it is! Maybe it's too simple though. I'll work for better one soon. Yeah, soon. Or later.

Hmm, well, few days has passed since my birthday. But the words Dad said to us really touched my heart when we had a simple cake-celebration at home.

"Dulu ayah sedang menunggukan kelahiran seorang bayi. Dengan baju kurung yang ayah pakai untuk ke solat jumaat; warna putih kerana Hari Kebangsaan, rancangan tu sumer dibatalkan sebab menunggu kelahiran bayi itu. Setelah lama menunggu, lahirlah bayi itu, dan namanya ialah Muhammad Khairulddin."

Aww! That's just so touching isn't it? So, we recited the Al-Fatihah and I made my wish in my heart. Shh! Don't ask! Hehe! Blew the candle-light and slaughtered the cake. Hmm, yeap. Ate them up and that's it. I was chatting with Bestie on MSN at that time, so I rushed to the living room and back to Kak Zilah's room. Whew!

There's nothing much to update for today. Well, there is, but I seriously don't wanna talk about it. Other than that, I just kept facing problems every morning. It drives me crazy, okay? When the hell are they gonna stop? Gosh, whatever it is, I'm prepared for more problems tomorrow morning. Whatever it is, again.

Labels : I think I heard a shot through my heart.

2007-08-12T14:02:00.000+08:00

Gargh! Sorry for the close-down. This isn't the real skin anyways. It's under construction. So uhh .. Don't mind this site to be abit ugly okays? :)

I miss you, Bestie!

Labels : The purpose of life .. is to end?

2007-08-10T21:56:00.000+08:00

Hoorah! Today's my birthday! But erm, I should say it's just like any other days. Well, it's not meant to be fun or something? I don't know. Maybe It's just to be glad that we're born in this world. That's all. I didn't get any gifts so far.

Except for one.

This night, Ameen and Ameerul just got back home from "Shop". That's what they said. Then they quickly rushed to me and gave me a wrapped item. Wow. A note got sticked onto it saying,

"Dear awon,

Happy B'day!

Ini present daripade Ameen & Aru. Kite kasi lambat psl nk kasi Awon boring dulu."

Haha! I giggled myself out reading it. They hurried me on opening it! So I did of course. And guess what? It's a Sims 2 PSP cartridge. So I thought "Oh goody! But how am I gonna play without any PSP?" Then Ameen said, "Awon kan ader PSP?" What?! I then alarmed him out "Tu PSP kawan Awon punye lah!" And they gave me that "OOPS!" kinda face. Ahaha! Gosh. Never mind. Thanks a million anyways. It's my first gift for my birthday and I'm glad to have it - one way or another?

Gosh, that just sounded so cute.

Well, there've been alot of people commenting on my Friendster profile, wishing me on my birthday. Aww! Thank you so much you lovelies! Much appreciated! Hmm, what's next? Ouh yeah, if I hadn't been online in MSN in the morning, I wouldn't be in such a bad mood. A bastard really turned down my day by saying that I can't even take care of my EX-GIRLFRIEND though I'm already 17. Screw you, faggot.

Next, I hate spammers, unidentified freaks or whoever who kept flooding Tagboxes in blogs. SYUKUR! I'm not a victim. But read alot of shitty words in Chiaa's Tagbox. Eeew. Chiaa, screw 'em up okay girl? Erm, GIRL POWER! Haha! Okay, right.

So, yeah. I'm 17 now. I can play pool, I can look for a job, I can fly, I can read, I can write, I can walk. BUT I CAN'T watch M18 or M21 movies. Dorts. Oh well. Big deal.

Finally, as I always said in my other posts. I'm missing Bestie alot okays. Believe it or not, I kept looking out of the window hoping that she'll be there. But why on earth?! Ahaha! Gila bayangans! Erm, or is it? Anyways, I love you Bestie! =)

Labels : Three cheers for Awon!

Birthday Video

2007-08-09T15:40:00.001+08:00

Finally!

Birthday Video

2007-08-09T15:33:00.001+08:00

Reaching the party

Birthday video

2007-08-09T15:32:00.001+08:00

First walk

2007-08-09T10:19:00.000+08:00

Whoah, I got up from bed - still feeling tired. But it's already 0930 hrs. So I went straight to the computer to check out stuffs on the net. Then, went to Kak Zilah's cmputer just to get online in MSN. It's so troublesome! Anyways, as soon as I got online, Bestie got online too! Whee! Miss her loads! Appear offline kepe sia? Haha!

So, yesterday. After the prize giving ceremony in school, the whole of secondary 5s took our photos in the parade square. Wow! I like! The best part was when my class layed on the ground to form the "5A2" position. And heck! It was such a sunny day and we tanned lying on the floor! Argh!!

So, I just got home and waitd for 1530 hrs to come. Soon enough after I've updated my blog, I fell asleep on Mom's bed. After I woke up, it's only 1400 hrs?! Urgh! I've got more than an hour to go. So I just rot at home! Then at about 1500 hrs, I got myself dressed up and off to Woodlands MRT to meet Muna. When I reached there, Muna texted me to call her back. Oh wells, I used the payphone and called her up. She then said that she needs to look for her younger sister who was like, ran to somewhere she don't know? And she have to meet me at 1600 hrs. Urgh! Well, I just waited in the MRT Station. I sat at one corner near the ticketing machine. Fell asleep for quite sometime though. When it's already 1600 hrs, Muna's still not there yet. Aku yang disambut, korg yang lambat. Maner lah aku tak bingit. So, after about 15 mins, Muna finally came with her brother, Izuddin. Waited for the rest for awhile. At almost 1700 hrs, Rid and Mas finally came. Whoah! I've waited for about 2 hours already!

So we walked down to Fushan Park and started the thing. I don't even know what's going on! Muna suddenly asked me to take off my shades. So I did. Then she blindfolded me! Oh shits! I hate being blind! They fooled me around and brought me around the park, then finally up the hill. Mannan gave me a card for me to hold up while walking. It says " Hi! I'm Khai. I'm being punked by my friends coz today is my birthday!" Dah macam budak bodoh sia! Haha!

When we reached the hill, they then opened my blindfold and my face were vandalised with cake pieces! Omg! Hmm, after all that, we started barbequeing. And guess what? I'm the one who cooked for them. Haha!

Just look at the videos okays?

Labels : I wish for ....

2007-08-08T21:05:00.000+08:00

Class Photos:

Me & Ying Qi

Combined photo of 5A1 & 5A2!

Preparing for the "5A2" formation.

Almost there!

5A2!

5A2 in parade square.

Gosh, the photographer (me) is such a pervert!

Girls (and 3 guys) of 5A2.

5A2 and medals!

Party Photos:

Haish.

Cooking is love!

So these are the photos for today. More of 'em are in the other cameras. Sorry! Maybe I'll do a storytelling tomorrow. I'm really tired right now. Shower and bed are next. Goodnight!

Erm, I'm missing Bestie alots. ='(

Labels : Ever had the feeling you're gone?

2007-08-08T13:04:00.000+08:00

Okay, reached home at about 1230 hrs. National Day celebration & Sports Carnival was a blast! My team won in floorball matches - 2 of them. Scored 2 by Alfian on first match, and other 2 by me on the other match. Well, I guess I could do it without my own floorball stick. But I missed it alot.

I'm tired. But I've gotta go to Fushan park somewhere in Woodlands (wherever that is) at around 1530 hrs. Maybe Muna's gonna meet me at Woodlands MRT and set off together. Maybe they're gonna celebrate my birthday later on? Gosh. I'd better bring out my raincoat. Hahs.

I'll post in photos later on when I get back. Lots of 'em!

Labels : Suffocating in this nightmare.

2007-08-07T18:02:00.000+08:00

I just .. don't have any mood to update right now. But I think I'll just do abit.

Did high-jump practices for tomorrow's National Day celebration during FT interaction time, on stage. And the rest of the secondary 4s an 5s were looking at our class. How beautiful.

I'm gonna go buy myself a white studded-belt and white cuffs. I'm gonna be at my best look tomorrow - our last event of the year.

That's all.

Labels : And maybe one day I'll sleep tight, they will see what's on my mind. They will see it through my eyes.

2007-08-06T16:28:00.000+08:00

I didn't had fun today. Seriously, not at all. I just feel so down. I can't explain them in words, and I don't wish to explain. Yeah, I did laugh at school, but I just don't feel happy as before.

Bestie, I'm sorry about my harsh post yesterday. I'm having a problem of my own, and that's the reason I'm like that. I can accept your words to call me names. I know I deserve it. You're hurt eventhough you're having a larger problems. Look, there are bigger things happening her - than just me and you. We''ll be together again, I wish so. Take care okays? I love you!

School. The lower secondaries had their trip and the secondary 4s and 5s had to study in school - with teachers following the lower secondaries in those trips. We can we learn? I don't see any good reasons why we still have to come to school. We've wasted our times in school with all relief teachers? We've benefited NOTHING! And all these don't make sense at all.

Our class T-shirts arrived during recess. And they looked so awesome! "Naughty by nature, not our desire" That's our slogan. Thanks to Alfian's design. I wore it straight after the last period ends. And I'm wearing it now though. Hee!

Erm, there's nothing else to say I think. But I just wanna say, I wanna dedicate this song to my beloved bestie. She rocked my life since I first met her. Introduced me with new songs and stuffs. So, Bestie. This is a Phillipino band. Hope you'll love it. && you'll always be remembered.

Labels : So am I still waiting for this world to stop hating?

2007-08-05T22:15:00.001+08:00

What a life! First comes that, now comes this. Devil won't leave me alone! I'm being a huge burden to everyone else am I? Ariani, listen to your parents. You're still young and I don't want you to be defiant to them. What they say, you do. Okays? I want you to make them proud. I'll be proud if they are. You should be doing the right thing. You need their trust to move on. Otherwise you'll come up with another suicidal thought. I hate it.

I always said this. I've said it once, I've said it twice. And I'm saying it once more - I am nothing but trouble. But you disagreed. Look at what happened now? Aku taknak lepas tangan, but I'm sure you'll live a better live by doing this. I'm doing this for your own good. And please STOP asking me to stop blaming myself. I'm mad at myself for not getting out of your parents' mind. They won't trust you for as long as I'm in there. God sees everything. Maybe we're gonna talk again in a few months time. But if it's much better for you, we'll never talk again. It's up to you to decide.

I'm sorry for being harsh. But I really, REALLY don't wanna be any much trouble to you anymore. Before anything, please ask yourself this. Can you live without me? No? I'll always be here anytime, everytime. But if its a YES, then you can throw me in a dustbin or whatsoever. Bear in mind, if you were to ask me that question, I'll just shook my head - never nod. You get what I mean, right?

Now we really have to be a apart. Ariani, for your info, I cried while websms-ing you just now. You didn't notice. Huge heartbreak. That's why I spoke to you in that manner - short and botherless. I just ... haish.

I wore that necklace everytime since the day we broke up. I know you didn't. It's just for your info. And I will still wear it everywhere I go. In the meantime I'm not in your life, I want you to take good care of yourself. I really want you to. I'll be waiting for you. Oh, it's really fun to keep waiting for someone you love the most. Trust me. And I wish for that star to grant me my wish. Whatever my wish is.

Next thing, I won't get online since your parents saw us chatting on MSN. That'll help you keep out of trouble.

Haish, tears. Please stop dripping down. I just can't help it.

Lastly, I don't know if I should do this. But I'm closing down my blog. I said this before, but Ariani stopped me. Now we're apart, so this blog means nothing anymore. I don't feel like expressing my feelings and thoughts anymore. It'll all be kept in my heart. Hope you'd agree.

Ariani, my last words to you. I know not of what's gonna happen to us. I still had heartaches about you, but I still love you, deeply. Now is a really huge sacrifice. Don't be sorry, I should. None of these would've happened if ... nevermind. There's no use talking about it now. Rice has already became porridge, you know? Just take care of yourself okays? Hey, I'd love to hear you got into express next year. it's one of our dreams coming true. Yeap, it's my dream too. I'll be delighted to know about your success.

Well, this is it. With this last tear dripping down this soft skin, Ariani, I love you with all my heart. Goodbye. ='(

That's all.

Labels : Other readers, please, treasure your love ones. You'll regret otherwise.

2007-08-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

I'm humiliated, insulted, blablabla. Why bother talking to me just to throw your shitty words around? I was there to comfort you, not to play Catch-the-shitty-words while holding the dustbin and running around. Get what I mean? Don't bother calling me a friend if you're just those Mat/Minah types. I'm not interested. You've change, buddy. You really have. Why bother smoking when you take drugs. Both would just turn you into an addict. Get what I mean?

Say no more. I'm through with you. Whoever you are. Should I post things up in my blog? Cause I'm just hurting more readers. Blew it!

Labels : What's your problem, I know not. Just stay away from me. Cool?

2007-08-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

Woo! Best! I slept at 0200 hrs+ and woke up at around 0900 hrs! Erm, is that even enough? Whatever. Well, I'm feeling abit better from my fever, which is a good thing. Feeling abit weak though. Can't jump here and there yet. Let's see .. My temperature's around 37.0'C. Not bad huh?

Anyways, I really scratched my head on where to go yesterday. I didn't joined Rid and other's to NDP cause I'd rather save my Red-White outfi for school's National Day Celebration. So, I just rot at home, playing Min's PSP. Awesome! So, after magrib, I got dressed up for Baybeats 07. I wore all black, again. Damn I need new clothes! As I wore my hi-cuts, I suddenly remembered something - MY WALLET! Holy shits! I searched the whole house but it isn't there! Refreshing back my memory - could it be in my school pants the day before? Well, I looked into the washing machine, and my school pants was there - so was my wallet in it. Urgh!! Mbak didn't take it out before washing it! So? My IC, Ez-Link, Bubbletea Promotion Card and my spectacle vouchers were all wet! Grr! Towel-dried them and rushed out of the house.

Hmm, Min's music in his PSP are freakin' awesome! Believe it or not, it's my first time listening to Capricorn by 30 second to Mars. Awful am I? I such an outdated nerd.

In the MRT, I sat on the seat and started playing Burnout Dominator. Whee! Khusyuk main! Didn't even noticed Ain Taufik was sitting about 3 seats away from my left. Just ignored. So, as I reached City Hall, I already heard noises from bands and more bands! Whoah! I rushed! It really caught my eye that the band playing that time came from Sweden. No wonder the vocalist spoke good english. Their songs are nice though. Smokes everywhere as they rocked on stage, flashed by spotlights too! Kewl isn't it?

Well, soon enough, I met Rid, his bro, Mas and Farah in IndoChine restaurant. My gawd! They invited me to dine in as well! A candle-light dinner! Ate Fish and chips and the fish was like Oh-so-delicious! Tender and soft! We ate like pigs and got our tummy bloated real good. Awesome!

Hmm, fast-forward shall we?

Farah was kindda freaked out seeing lotsa people in City hall. Cute lah kau! We then took the MRT and headed home. Home sweet home! While playing my PSP, again, Bestie texted me just to wish me goodnight. Aww! Isn't that so sweet? That time was around 2215 hrs or so. She really slept late yesterday. Love you bestie!

Reached home at around 0010 hrs, and ate Prata Cheese dad brought home. Makan lagi! Bleargh! Well, I kindda forgot what I did after that. But what I know, I played Min's PSP on bed till I dozed off to sleep. Oh my gawd.

Labels : Singapore River is meant for you to jump in when you're sleepy in City Hall

2007-08-04T14:05:00.000+08:00

Okay, I got into the net cafe just to chat with bestie on MSN and to update this blog. Awesome isn't it? Well, I'm kindda not in the mood right now. I could barely feel myself, or even think. And yes, I am still feeling sick, not to mention about my increased temperature. I hate it.

Anyways, school's nothing much. Lessons are boring, and foods began to seem yucky to me. I've got no appetite at all, since last week. What, am I born without taste buds? I am indeed really hungry ya know? But I still can't stand to see foods around me. Help?

I don't know what else to write, except about bestie. Well, I really missed her so much and kindda craving for her prescence. Haish. I hope she's okay about what she's doing. I'm beginning to get more and more worried about her. And I kept wearing the necklace everywhere I go. The best thing is, people seems to love to see me wearing it! Whee!

Erm, one thing I noticed about this blog. The more I post things up, the lower my english standard becomes. But why?!

Labels : Orang yang bersabar dapat hikmah; orang yang berdendam dapat karma. =P

2007-07-31T21:55:00.001+08:00

Okay! I'm in such a good mood today, but sad thing is that I'm having a slight fever. Oh wells. nothing much actually. So! I rushed home after school to get myself changed. Then, took the MRT from Woodlands to meet Ridaudin and Mas in Sembawang. But heck, they were late! And I was worried that I'll be late to get my IC in the ICA building too! I'm supposed to get my ass there by 1630 hrs! Oh gosh! What should I do?! I kept myself silent the whole journey, worrying about being late. Sorry guys!

So, as we reached City Hall, we waited for the East-West Line train to arrive. I was tapping my feet! "Ishk! Lekas lah! Lekas lah!" As it stopped by, the door opened and passengers went in, lots of 'em! And hoping that I could throw shits onto their faces, because they don't even bother to move to the centre of the cabin! Urgh! Rid and Mas then said that I should move on inside alone. They'll meet me in Lavender by the next train. Oh well, I'm on my own.

Lavender! I rushed out right after the door opened. No escalators! I used stairs! Whooshed here and there. Kelam-kabut sia! Lintang-pukang aku lari! As I reached in the ICA building, there were lots of people there. The building's not closed yet?! Argh!!! Buat penat je aku lari tau! Musibat nyer ICA! Heck it! I went to one of the counters and retrieved my found IC. Yipee! It's mine! Muah muah muah!

So, as Rid and Mas came, we walked around Bugis and Back to City Hall, when we sat around Esplanade. Oh beautiful!

Unfortunately, I became sick as I reached home. 37.5'C. Well, what can I say? It's just my luck! Great thing was, I went nuts - which is one of the reasons I'm so goody-moody right now. And yeah! Bestie really made my day! I kept smiling as I chatted with her through MSN. Awesome isn't it? Erm, another things is, my mom topped her prepaid card and needed her phone back. So, this would be the last moment I'm using it. Of course, I made full use of it by texting Bestie just now. I could still feel the warmth of her sweetness! Aww!

Well, she got tired and wanted to sleep. To be more "SWEET", I called her up. Hehe! Hey, she sounded so happy! And not to mention that she really missed me so much, she's gonna miss me again real soon. Gosh, I'm so sorry, Sweetie. It's gotta be so hard for us to contact these days. That's the reason Why I love talking about you in my posts! And hey, I've got something for you too.

To my beloved bestfriend and love, this is for you :

It's hard to believe that I couldn't see,

but you were always right beside me.

Thought I was alone with no one to hold,

but you were always right beside me.

This feeling's like no other.

I want you to know,

that I've never had someone who knows me like you do,

the way you do.

And I've never had someone who's good for me as you,

no one like you.

So lonely before,

I've finally found ..

what I've been looking for.

And that'll be you, Sweetie!

Labels : Loving and missing you and your sweetness.

2007-07-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

Bleargh! Today was such an awful day for me. Why were ther lots of bad-lucks happening here and there? It happens to me and my surroundings. I don't get it.

1) Well, first of all I did my english homework during Mother Tongue class cause we no longer need to study malay anymore. Whee! Yeah, I planned to start my weekend english homework which was the summary part. 160 words, it's done. So, I layed my head on the table and dozed off. Next period was english, and got to know that english has got another homework. That was a narrative writing! Holy shit! Why wasn't I informed?! Oh well, I'll just hand it up tommorrow.

2) So, chemistry was nothing. Then we had recess, whereby Muhaimin treated me on foods. I asked for a plate of Fun Choy, but he ordered for me Low Mai Kai. Haha! Where has his mind gone to? Well, it's okay. Thanks alot bro! Squrirted the chilli sauce onto it and went to our usual benches to gobble it up. Damn, I cried my tears out! Too much chilli! Pedas! Pedas! XP

3) Well, after recess was physics. We all headed to the lab for it. On the way there, Usop grabbed my neck hard with his arms. For what - I know not. I yelled out, "Argh! Teacher! Gay! Gay! Gargh!!" Then he released me, and pulled my hair at the back. God dammit! What on earth is wrong with you?! You're a bastard who's lucky enough that I didn't kicked those tiny balls of yours! Sheesh!

4) In the physics lab, something really turned down my day and I'm so, so grateful that I didn't turned rebelious. I was clearing up the bench - wiping the benchtop and keeping all the apparatus. But then Miss Low shouted "STOP PLAYING WITH THE APPARATUS!" So, of course I still store those stuffs in the basket while Alfian stoned there holing the thermometer. But Miss Low suddenly were like "Alfian and Khairulddin, one of you stand at the corners at the back!" Hah?! Sial lah! Tak bersalah sia! Me and Alfian looked at each other.

And then I said "Cher! I was keeping..."

"Stand at the back!!"

Feeling really pissed off, I grabbed my paper and pen, and did as she said. What's more? Our name were written down in the class journal, and we're banned from using the lab next week. Wow, it's so fair isn't it? I suffered for being innocent. Just you wait till the truth reveal in your face. Just you wait.

5) Well, got another scolding from Mrs Goh about my performance in Maths. Haish. I don't wanna talk about it.

6) After school, I headed to the toilet to wash up my oily face. Unfortunately, the floor is wet. You guess. I slipped on the floor and fell like one BUDAK GEMOK with a loud "GEDEGUUNGG!" Yeah, ouch. I landed on my arm for god sake! And I'm that lucky bastard who didn't broke his arm. Alhamdulillah.

7) Aidillah lost her school bag. And none of us knew who the hell took it away. Tell me, what would a school bag do good to someone who stole it? Education? That's so foolish of you! You suck - BIG TIME!

8) Last of all, I had a really huge headache. I don't know how or why, but it really hurt me much. And it's just enough to knock me out. Ouch!

So, there you go. 8 issues I've faced today. This isn't Friday 13th, right? But why are things happening today? Once again, I just don't get it.

Labels : Does anybody want a peanut?

2007-07-30T07:00:00.001+08:00

Hey guys! Well, I'm not gonna close down this blog. Someone's in love with it. Haha! Well, to that someone, thankieu so much for the sweet love yesterday. It's so beautiful! Erm, I'm rushing to school now. *Whoosh!

Labels : Love has always been beautiful

2007-07-29T14:42:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna talk about it anymore. The more I speak, the more she'll get broken. I've made up my mind. To you all, fellow readers of my blog, adore this site all you can. Spit my tagboard with vulgarities or whatsoever, as you wish. I'm closing this site by tommorrow. Thank you.

Labels : I'm in trouble. Okays?

2007-07-29T11:43:00.000+08:00

Haish, would you just look at that? She simply said that I should just forget about her. There's a huge hole in my heart right now. I just can't believe this is happening. If I wouldn't have asked about her feelings towards me, none of this would've happened. But then again, I've waited for her for a long time, and this is what I get. She doesn't seem to realise how much sacrifice I've done for her. Or wouldn't even care? When I'm with you, you always said, "I never wanna let you go", or things about you saying to me not to leave you. Now we're apart, you said, "I want you to know that those promises is still kept in my heart. I never will stop loving you. We just need to be seperated for the time being; and i just hope you'll still have the same feeling as you do the first time you meet me, when its the time for us to get back together." And so, I waited. But where were those promises now? You can live your life happily without me, don't you? That's why you said you have feelings for Zico, and kindda went on a relationship with him? Even for just a day? And you broke his heart, that's simply because - You didn't tell him earlier. He's pissed off with that. And THAT goes the same to me! You wanted me to wait for you. And for about a month, you said that you don't want me to wait for you?! I'm MORE hurt than Zico, do you know that? Do you even care?

As far as I can remember, I've never ditched you. I've never even cheated you. But why are you doing this to me? Are you deeply in love with another guy, and made me believe that you're having phobia in love? Haish, I don't know if I should say more. You wouldn't even care, right? I've respected your decisions and understood your situation. But I think I've been taken advantage with. For your info (IF you'd really care!), all those posts have always been refering to you, no one else. Cause why? I NEVER wanna hurt you again. But why do I even bother to post them up? Just to make you realise what my heart felt. But you didn't even realise, which was foolish of me to post those up.

You said that you wanted to see me happy? Can you ask yourself first? How could I possibly be HAPPY without loving you? I'm confident that you know me too well. And I know that you know how serious I am with this "Love" thing. I've never played around with it. You realise that, don't you? We were bestfriends after we broke up. But I still can't accept the fate. I just CAN'T! That's the reason why I always waited for your messages, and waiting for the moments to call you up. That's because I care. No less.

Haish. I remembered the time before we're together. I said to you that I'm never gonna have any relationship after breaking up with Ika. But you changed my mind. The closer I was to you, the more I fell in love with you. We finally went on a relationship, and how lucky I was that god gave me someone who gave me SUCH AMOUNT of love. It's unspeakable. I don't even wanna go to sleep after hearing your voice on the phone. It's such a beautiful love. We went to places I've never brought a girl with me before. And it's so romantic. The weather had been so kind to us to offer us such peaceful atmosphere. Beautiful music were there too. I can't forget all those.

There's more. Alot more! But, she's gone. Where am I gonna keep all these memories? My heart is no longer with me. It's broken.

Is love at first sight even true?

I've waited for quite a long time now. And you don't seem to care. It's like, I feel in love with nothing? "Syiok sendiri"? Pfft.

Now, I'm wondering. Why did the both of us broke up? Is it about your parents? Or is this love just ... dead? I just wanna let you know. You can forget me in just a snap. That easy, that simple, that quick. But I'm never gonna forget you. And I'm never gonna stop loving you. That'll be such a waste. And if you're too annoyed by that, you're gonna have to KILL me to stop loving you.

I dare you to try.

Labels : So much for "Till death do us apart."

2007-07-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

I'm too lazy to write about my day just now. Maybe I'll just post it up tommorrow. Well, I came home feeling tired and really, really down. I just need a new life, for goodness sake. I'm tired with all these - what's happening to the world, to me, my friends, love ones, whatever. My broken heart never got mended back since the day I broke up with her, and it just got even worser than painful. I cried every night, trying too keep my eyes closed just to keep myself asleep. Even if I'm asleep, I'll just got awake in a few hours time. It's really tiring you know? And again, I'll have to cry myself to sleep everytime, even till now. Haish. I don't know when would I end all this suffering. I don't even know how. They say that I should just forget about it. I'm sorry, but I simply can't. I never would. Cause I'm not ready for that. Some even say that I need a new person to make me forget all those and mend my powdered-heart. But apparently, I'm not ready for that either. So, how? I've got nowhere to turn. I've devoted myself with this "Love" thinging too much that I've suffered to this extent. I'm not regret, but I just can't believe that it's happening to me. What are the ways of fixing my heart back altogether? They're just powder now. They'll blow off even when you grip 'em in your hand. I need ... haish. I've got alot of things to say, alot of things to wonder, and alot of things to know in my heart. But I'm just afraid if I'd hurt another heart. =\

Well, I just got to know that someone had a crush on a guy. And that guy's a friend of her own sibling. That's lucky for him though. I'd wish you good luck on that okays?

Labels : I guess my heart is being played around with? Maybe? I'm prepared for more.

2007-07-27T21:44:00.000+08:00

Happy 17th birthday to Fadlin Cupak! Huhuhu! I could say that we had the best moshing moments ever! So straight away after the last period, Fadlin was brought to the staircase by the whole class. From distance away I could hear people singing a birthday song! So I rushed to them and joined in. "Happy birthday to Fadlin! Happy birthday to you!" and we started smacking him with our PE shirts, and they're wet! Eeew! Okay, we had enough. All of us slowly walked down the staircase together. But when we reached the 2nd floor, we suddenly were like, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" and bashed Fadlin up! Kesian sak! Then there was silent. Aper lagi?! I went in and started moshing! I stopped for while and tried to get out of the pit. But there's one bugger pulling my bag and pulled me into the pit again! So how? I went in again and moshed! Wargh!! Funfun! Damn, I love you guys, 5A2! Laughters here and there.

Moreover, we had PE in the 2nd period and we played Captain's Ball! Lame game, but we made it fun. Song Ern was the captain of the other team and was like so hyperactive. Every score, he'll cried out "SPARTAN'S!" which was the group name, and his members went "HOOOO!!!" Ahahaha! And what the hell?! they kept scoring the ball, and kept cheering! So envious! So, yeah. We had great fun today!

Alhamdulillah! I just got a letter from the ICA that my IC has been found! Hooray! So, I've gotta get my ass there within 14 days or my card would just be disposed off. Ouch! Well, anyone wanna tag along? Know me or not, you're most welcome! Huahaha!

Anyways, me, Rid and Muna are gonna watch The Simpsons Movie tommorrow in GVMax Vivocity! Huraah! It's gonna be a blast! Yeay! Muna booked the tickets for us cause it's sure gonna be alot of buttheads there. So, we'd better book in seats before they run out, right? Whee! Oh Saturday, please come! I just can't wait to see Homer Simpson! "Piggy-Man! Piggy-Man!"

Well, I'm kindda missing someone alot right now. I wonder how she's doing. I kept praying for her well-being. I know that her heart's just being broken again. To that someone, please take care of yourself okies? I love you! =)

Labels : I've never believed in hate. So I'll never hate you.

2007-07-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

I don't even dare to follow the cold shiver running down my spine. I'm having a huge fear right now. I simply don't know what's gonna happen to my life as how Muna has spoken. She said that bad things are gonna happend to me and my friends. That was what her feelings had struck her. Rid said that whatever her feelings were, they have always been true. I'm trying my will of not to believe, but only to take the words of concern from her as a bestfriend. She told us to take care of ourselves. "I don't know who's the bad omen going out to. So just take care okies?" That was what she said. Oh gawd, I need clues! She sounded so serious in sending that message. I don't know. Okay, I need help here. I hope I don't have to say this, but just for the info to you - readers of this blog, I AM in deep trouble.

Anyways, I wont be having my phone anymore. I think it's time to give it away. *Cries!

Lables : Bestie, where are you?!

2007-07-24T20:56:00.000+08:00

Wow. Today was such a tragedy for me. Hell yeah! Am I in a drama or what? Guess what happened! During recess, my friends were there eating on the tables and I sat there, staring at them. Macam ngah puasa lah kans? I'm god-damned hungry, but I really have no appetite to eat, for more than just a few days! Well, I stared, stared, stared and stared at them eating. Mak aish! Sedapnyer! But then, the smell. Urgh! I took my Gatsby moving rubber bottle and went to the toilet, as if I'm gonna do my hair like always. But I rushed into the toilet and in the cubicle. My throat gave me problems, and so does my tummy. And ... Holy shit. I coughed out blood. Damn, it's the first time that happened in my life! My tummy cramped and hurts real bad. It felt like my intestines were being squeezed or something. So I washed up, did my hair abit (or more, like always) and went back to my friends and acted normal. So it was all okay till the end of the day.

After school, I headed straight to D&T lesson. My tummy hurts me again, even worse. So I was sent to the general office for some treatments or something. Okay, I was yelling. And passer-bys (who were just fellow students) stared at what's going on. Damn, it's embarrassing! It's killing me okay?! *Fast-forward* I applied some ointments on my tummy. "Mak kau! Sejuknyer!" But after moments later, I was like, "Argh!! Panas!! Panas!!" Something like that. What kind of ointment was that?! Is that TIGER BALM or something?!It almost burnt me to death! So a friend of mine tossed me a bottle of Green Tea and I drank up. Whew! Lega sikit!

Gosh, I totally forgot about my phone! Took it out from my pocket and saw about 3 new messages from Bestie. Oh shits! I'm so sorry, Darling! So I tried replying her back, but she called me first. Yeay! I smiled happily, but still weak. So, she asked about my condition, and I said I'm feeling okay. Well, yeah. I was worried about her yesterday, but she was even MORE worried about me just now. That's so sweet of you, Bestie! =)

Labels : I'm still having no appetite to eat.

2007-07-23T22:53:00.000+08:00

Oh gawd. It's been a long time since I had any foods in my tummy. I'm getting skinny! I'm so, so hungry, but have no will to eat at all. I worry too much about my heart than my stomach. Neh, forget about food.

Well, Bestie didn't texted me tonight. I wonder what happened. Damn, I didn't do any of my homeworks just to wait for her texts. I guess I'm sleeping late today.

Anyways, I ain't feeling well lately. Drowzyness and nauseous evolve around me. I almost fell to the ground while on the way home. How sweet! I guess I'm not even bothered about myself enough, or not at all. I don't know. I just need someone to mend my broken heart. I am suffering in silence for days and weeks. And no one bother. It's okay, I'm not asking for any. I don't mind living in my own life. Just let me die, slowly. Okays? Maybe it's so much better to leave this world that to suffer isn't it? I don't know how much longer could I bear with this pain. Words kept entering my ears telling me to stay strong. But what's the use? I'm never being appreciated and I'm taken advantage with. I'm just a toy, as a matter of fact. With an uneasy soul? So I guess that excuse would be okay to treat me like there's no feelings involved. Haha! I'll just ... Haish. I need someone to talk to, for goodness sake.

Labels : Zico's friendster background is so sweet! Aww! =)

2007-07-22T14:44:00.000+08:00

I think I'll write this post abit informal okays? Hmm, I chat with Ariani through her Cbox just now. And the way she says it all - Haish. Kesian lahs tgk dier. I can't imagine myself talking to her face to face. I bet I'll see driplets of cleanse water running down the beautiful face of hers. Okay lahs, I admit that I'm crying while writing this post too. I'm being too harsh towards her. That's not the way to show love to someone - at all. I don't know how to say this, but I'm truly sorry. I just can't help the feelings of being jealous and impatient. Well, I did cheered her up - hoping that everything's okay. Yeah, she did. But then, I'm still worried about her. She having a huge phobia in love. And that's really. Haish. I'm not mad, angry or pissed of to see her in that phobia. But like I said, kesian betul aku tgk dia. That's why I'm crying right now. She's suffering in her own heart. I know I should've understood her more. Well I just hope that she knows that I'm still here for her. And to realise that I'm here not only as her bestfriend, but much more than that. Hey, I just wanna let you know - I'll wait even if it'll take months and years. I'm still loving you, so much. =')

Labels : I'm gonna make things right. I promise.

2007-07-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

Oh nice! So she's mad about me prefering to lose my memories again. Haha. Hmm, okay. That's how bestie care about each other? I guess she don't understand what's going on at all. Seriously, I'm just tired and tired. Okay, she's hurt, I know. That's why I said. I'm nothing but trouble. Sorry, Bestie. I don't know whats going on with me. But I guess you don't realise a thing or two. Okay, that's enough. Problems with Zico? It's okay, I'll talk to him soon.

Labels : Goodbye? Oh, try forgetting me - if you can

2007-07-22T10:38:00.000+08:00

God, you may take my right eye away. I don't want it to be red all my life. Love, I don't wanna talk about it. Friendship, hope they're preserved. Finance, it's critical. Health, I'm afraid. Haish, problems, problems and problems. They are viruses that obstructed my mind and made me think negatively. I can't stand being hurt - physically or by heart. To those reading this, hope that you don't think that I'm refering to you. And I hate to be asked why. Keep asking, and I'll leave you alone instead of you leaving me alone with all these problems. Favour? Stop feeling guilty and blaming yourself. That's the least you can do to help me. Thank you.

Labels : I'd prefer losing my memories. Again.

2007-07-21T13:31:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm totally pissed off. I'm not updating nor expressing any feelings or thoughts at all. I'll just shut the hell up.

Labels : Is it worth the wait?

2007-07-21T01:39:00.000+08:00

Damn, I just got home and there's school in about a few hours time! Okay, I didn't turn up for school because my right eye sore real badly, and it still is! So, I went to Friday prayers, then to D&T at school. Bestie texted me, and you won't be able to imagine how happy I was! So I called her up, draining my prepaid up. There's no use if it's only left with 85 cents! So I just drain it all up. Then my phone hung up as it's prepaid's already dried up! Shit! I rushed to the school's payphone and called her for awhile. So, I guess she was busy doing her housework. So I told her that I'll websms her when I get home. Nope, she said no, and told me to just wait for her to text me. Oh well, so I did my D&T till 5 and went straight off.

On second thought, I decided to head to mom's foodstall to help her in "cocok satay" or whatever it is in english! So, bestie, that's one of the reason I didn't get to websms you. *Smiles! So, I got a call from Alfian saying that he need me to act out being a "Mat-rip". Holy shits! Oh well, rushed home and get changed to look more like those 'Mat' types. Before I left, I took the chance to hack into Abang Sabar's laptop just to get online. I missed bestie so much, but she wasn't online. Oh well, off I go.

So met Alfian and other friends he invited. Mintak orang act jadi Mat-rip, panggil betul nyer Mat-rip! Haiyo! So we acted in Causeway Point's Banquet. Damn it! We kept repeating the scenes to make it perfect, and it's like, jalan cam Mat-rip, not perfect, do all over. It's funny though, and the crowd in Banquet laughed along! Ahaha! Okay, that was fun.

So, sometime later, Bestie texted me and again, I was so damn happy! But then, something occurred which I don't ever wanna write it down here. Whatever it is, to you, Bestie, I forgive you with all my heart! *Cheers! So, I called her up just to make her feel better. And I hope It went well. I was so damn worried about her since the start I was shooting the film in Banquet, wondering when would she text me.

Hmm, the last shooting scene was at Sembawang, a coffee shop somewhere in the area. It all ended at around 0015 hrs, in the morning?! Urgh! When I got to the MRT station, the last train just left. And again, "Urgh!!!" Well, I've got no choice but to make my way from Sembawang to Woodlands - ON FOOT. Fun, yeah?

Hmm, so I read Bestie's blog as soon as I reached home. Found out that she went on phone with her ex. Oh wells, ouch? Haish, I don't know. I'm in no place to stop her from anything. But I was glad that she got along with him. Hmm, yeah. And wells, she's got a real phobia in falling in love. And again, it wouldn't have happened to her if I wasn't around. Bestie, don't stop me from blaming myself okays? It's my fault. =)

So, erm. My advice to you, Bestie. You're gonna need the REAL YOU to bear with all these. Remember, to make things right, someone really has to get hurt. And if he ignores you, some kind of friend he is. Just imagine that you've got the whole world in your hand, and you don't wanna hurt each and everyone. Ask yourself, would you be hurt in the end? Yeah, that's the question. And yeah, about your phobia. I don't know. I'm really, really feeling guilty about it. Perhaps those memories made you that way? I'm really sorry, and I know that's just not enough. I know I owe you alot. Whatever problems you're facing, I'll always be right here for you. Please, never keep secrets from me okays? I'm just thankful enough that you took me fully in this friendship. I was hurt about your act, but I cared about you more. And when you're perfectly okay, I'm more than that. I love you, Bestie! =)

Labels : Help, I'm still heartbroken.

2007-07-18T20:12:00.000+08:00

Okay, today's school was kinda great! The school commemorated Racial Harmony Day with students wearing traditional costumes! Except that it's not that exciting compared to last year, when there's alot of selected students with the most fashionable costumes to be invited up on stage. Oh well, surprisingly, I was the hotstuff there. Oh my gawd!

First thing in the morning, I reached school and went straight into the toilet to get changed. Then I looked at myself in the mirror again. Damn I'm hot! Ahahaha! So, yeah. Waited for Rid to reach school and to get himself changed. So as the both of us went out of the toilet and heading to the Parade Square for assembly, Few of these girls called me up and were like, "Woo!! Abang Khai! Power uh!" Erm, okay. Haha! That really brought up my spirit. So yeah, I smiled throughout the whole day!

During recess time, I'm kinda feeling odd because, as how it seemed, I'm the only MALAY guy in Songkok, with a brooch attatched to it. Oh shit, everyone's looking at me! *Blushes! Fathiah saw me and were like, "Eh Khai! Hawt lah!" Whoo! Another fan! Huahaha! Okay, I should stop. So I tried continuing my recess as normal - eating my foods and stuffs. Except that I had to keep looking down. Everyone's looking at me. Shits!

After recess, we headed to Mother Tongue class but we ain't having any lessons cause 'O' levels for that subject is done and over! Yahoo! Anyways, while on our way to classroom, few of other girls dragged me to one side and took photos with me. "Gosh! One by one okay?!" Err, let's just act innocent okays? Teehee!

So, we took some photos in Malay lesson. Here they are :

Atiqah in blue an Helena in yellow Ci Pao. Candid photo taken by me!

Kanak-kanak terencat. Tsktsktsk.

Fadlin (Cupak Hanyut). Step cute, or is he?

Oops?!

So, yeah. There they are. So assembly was really short and plain. There's only performance by Polytechnic students on Traditional Musical Instruments and short price presentation for the most fashionable class. Seriously, its not exciting at all. Who the hell planned this event?!

Anyways, after assembly, more photos! Here :

Okay, actually they are only photos of my and Joycelyn. Sorry! The rest of them are in other cameras. Hehe!

P.S : Am I really hot?! =/

2007-07-17T21:33:00.000+08:00

2007-07-17T16:59:00.000+08:00

It's so beautiful! Me and Bestie are okay now. Gosh, I could feel the pain she's been bearing all by herself since the day before yesterday! Well, last night I really, really don't feel good at all. I kept thinking about her even while doing my work at Mom's food stall. Well, I waited for 2130 hrs to come cause that's the time when her parents were asleep. So as that time came, I texted Bestie by just saying hello. So, yeah. She replied, and I asked if I'm able to call her right at that moment. Well, she said that I won't like the way I sound. Why? Cause she's been crying from moments ago! Oh shits! I grabbed my coins and rushed down to the payphone and called her up!

Okay, she was crying. But still, it's her sweetest voice that I wanna hear. Damn, it touched my heart hearing her sound in that manner. I comfort her and stuffs. And I apologised to her for leaving just like that. And I just can't help it. I'm really in need of someone like her in my life. Yeah, she's still having half of my heart. That goes the same to me having hers. So we talked about it, and here we are now - together like before. I love you, Bestie!

Well, today's school was kinda funny though. I had my D&T lesson for 2 hrs from the start, then had English, when I had to stay back to complete the summary writing, then had only 5 minutes of recess, and then free period cause Miss Anna Low wasn't around. So yeah. But my friends kept saying to me that my eyes were red. Ouh shoots! Greatness! I've got sore eyes! Yeay! I went to the office to get the Early Departure form, and went to look for Mr Trevor. God dammit! Where the heck was he?! I searched around the whole school looking for him, and he wasn't there. Oh wells, I just asked the clerk in the office to call up my dad, and the HOD to sign the form. So, I went out of school with that "YIPPEE!" attitude.

Shits all over my faces. Such an embarrassment! I headed to the optic shop in SunPlaza to buy myself a new pair of contact lenses. But then, the optician said that my eyes were red and I can't wear. Holy shits! I didn't thought of that! Argh! Khai beloh! So, yeah. I just headed home then.

So, as I reached home, I waited for Bestie to call, which is one of the reason I didn't turn up for D&T lesson after school. But then, few of her guy friends came over to her house. For what, I don't know. Well, yeah. I waited for her call. But she didn't. Her friends were still there. She was kinda busy I guess, so I tried my best not to be a burden. Then she texted me saying that she's bored. So I suggested if she wants me to call her phone. Nope, her brother's home! Urgh! Okay, my heart ached somehow. I should've gone to D&T lesson with sore eyes. Oh wells, we didn't talked much when we met in habbo just now. I knew she's busy. So, yeah. That's it. Haish.

Anyways, I'm gonna wear traditional costumes to school! And hell yeah! I'm gonna look my best for my last year in this lame school! Huahaha! Okay, I've customised my black Baju Kurung to make it look skinnier - trimmed the sleeves and the body. So as I tried it on just now, gosh! I can see my body shape! Oh no! Then I rushed to the mirror and stared at myself. Well, It's not so bad afterall! I AM hot! Huahaha! (AS IF!)

So this is how my shirt roughly looks like.

And this, are how I'm gonna look like. (Without Songkok)

2007-07-16T18:29:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I didn't sleep last night at all. I just cried all my tears off. Most parts of me can't seem to accept the fate, while the rest, they're there to keep me strong and alive. I have to admit that I'm missing Bestie so much. She's "Love at first sight". Well, I've gotta be frank that I regretted on doing this, totally. I just want her back. But then again, I just don't wanna hurt her anymore. As you all know, I'm the type of person who hurts himself just for the sake of his love's happiness. Bestie still represents "Love" to me. I smiled widely into tears as I look into her pictures, and that most precious gift she gave me - the Half-Heart necklace. It's encraved with her name, and reminds me more about our 3rd month anniversary. Haish, I just wish I could have her back.

She texted me yesterday night just to see if I'm available with my phone. Well, I am. But, I don't know if I should reply, cause I'm just afraid if another argument like days before would come up. So I left my phone there. Few moments later, second thoughts came into my mind. Damn, I'm missing her so much! So, I ran back into my room and grabbed my phone. With heartbeats and courage, I called her up. She answered with that sweet and cheerful voice of hers. Oh my gawd! I went into tears! She sounded so happy that I called her up! It really made me shatter to pieces. But then, I've gotta do what I've gotta do. I told her to take care of herself, and that she's been a really great friend to me. As a matter of fact, she's indeed the greatest. I shed into tears, not wanting to let her go. But, I've got no choice. I told her to go to sleep, and said goodbye. Letting her go by sight, not by heart.

That was .. the last time I'm hearing her voice. I sat on my bed and stared on the wall. My mind kept playing back all those moments I've spent with her. It's like, I'm watching a love movie. How touching. The laughter, the kisses, the cuddles. We did lived happily together. But now .. haish. I don't know what to do. I really need Bestie back. I just can't live without her! I regretted what I've done. I'm putting myself into a paper shredder, tearing myself apart. Yeah, I am totally heartbroken. Bestie, I'm sorry! ='(

Well, I forced myself to go to school. I've got no more energy from last night's tears. I can't focus on everything. Got lotsa candies from my friends just to keep myself awake. And worst still, I didn't eat during recess cause I didn't bring any money! Urgh!

Stayed in school after curriculum time and waited for the 'O' levels MT listening comprehension. We reported in class at 1600 hrs. So we got ready and expect the exam to commence in a half hour. So, it was 1630 hrs. Then, the radio announced that the exam commences at 5pm! Urgh! The whole class were really pissed off! Everyone of us layed their heads on the desk and slept. That would most probably be me of course. I didn't sleep the whole night! So, yeah. The exam started till 1730 and we all headed home. And as for me, I rushed home and read Bestie's blog. Haish.

P.S. : It's just nearly one day, and I can't even take it any longer... ='(

2007-07-15T13:29:00.000+08:00

So god gave me this life, and I'm going through it all by myself. Negatives here and there. I just can't seem to get them out of my way. And I don't know why. This month could be the most unlucky month I've ever had. I lost my love, my bestfriends splitted up, and ... I won't be able to contact Bestie anymore. Oh wells, I don't know if I should be talking about her again. Oh what the heck.

Kakak Zilah needed her phone back. So I only have my SIM card with me. Yesterday night was the only and last time I got to talk with Bestie. Well, unfortunately it didn't go well. The last moment we talk was the last moment we argued. Well, I just calm myself down and kept helping her out with her issues about her family. That's what bestfriends are for, right? Some parts of what I said did hurt her. And that's really awful. Of course, I'm hurt too by her changing character deep inside her. Talked about it though. And I thought of getting firm with her just to make her realise. And so I did. Sorry, Bestie.

Well, I've decided. That night was the last time we talked not only because of me not having my phone, but ... I guess I should stop all these. I don't wanna hurt Bestie anymore. Since the start we met till now, I am nothing but trouble. Like what her dad told me, "If you don't get to know her from the beginning, none of these would've happened!" Everynight, that phrase came into my mind. And to think about it, it's really hard for me to decide. Bestie need me, but at the same time, she's always hurt. It's really hard to say goodbye. So I didn't. BUT, I still left, wishing her goodluck with her life. And I know we'll meet together again, someday. Well, it's hard for me to say this. But I've always been sacrificing myself for her own sake. That'll be because - I'm still deeply in love with her. But, honestly, I don't even know if she feels the same way. So, yeah. Its hurtful for me.

It's my last sacrifice - to let her move on with her own life. Yes, I promised her on not to leave her. But like I said, I'm nothing but trouble. So I've gotta do what I've gotta do. It's hard. But wishing that she'll finally realise how much I felt about her, I'll still wait. That's the least I could do to fulfill my promise for her. Well, there might be other guys out there, better than me. They might be able to replace me. I'll still be waiting for her to come back to me. But If she's got a better guy, then I'll wish her good luck in her new relationship? So, yeah. She's free. But, whatever her decision is, the both of us still has half of each others' hearts. So ... Haish. I don't know what else to say. This could be the end. I might not be ready to close this Love Storybook, but then again, I've gotta do what I've gotta do. I hope she won't forget whatever things I told her about. Those words really taught her heart. They are the only words that could change her into a better person.

And as for me, I think I'm having a life of my own, half of my heart missing. I'll swore never to have any relationships again - IF she don't come back to me. It's fate, there's nothing I can do about it. I could just hope. And the rest of it, I'll leave them all up to her decisions. Well, I hope this phrase could do us great, "Till death do us apart."

Please, take good care of yourself.

2007-07-14T16:51:00.000+08:00

I'm ruined. Everything I hope for is gone. I'm just plain and alone right now. I've just got no one to talk to. Conflicts here and there. Egoistics inside him and her. They just don't make sense! What the hell! I'm in a middle of a conflict! For god sake! When the hell are you guys gonna stop?! Just because of a tiny bit of salt in a tea could end the world like a total destruction. What on earth is wrong with you people?!

Let's start from the very top. When I lost my memory, bestfriends had conflicts with each other. Two groups splitted up. The band was almost dead. How painful is that? I just acted stupid. I don't wanna get involve or I'd just go mad. I purposely got along with each and everyone of them. Yeah, purposely. I'm the middle person now, right?

Next, This group of my bestfriends whom I always got along with, had another conflict. Bestie got mad with bestie because of her sins. Bestie thinks that bestie is a slut. And bestie told another bestie about it. But I just kept quiet. I never wanna side anyone. So, I'm the middle party, again.

Lastly, bestie became mad with the other bestie for siding the slut bestie. Then, bestie said to bestie not to call the slut bestie names and names. Bestie got mad, and conflict occurs. With all the pain in my heart, I tried keeping quiet. Still, I'm that middle party.

I'm sure none of you understand what the hell am I saying. If so, that means none of these refers to you. And since it doesn't, you're not involved. And since you're not, you've got no right to ask. I admit that I'm being kindda harsh. But beloved bestfriends, you guys are just argueing because you aren't understanding each other. It's painful, you know that? I kept myself silent simply because what you people are argueing about doesn't make any sense! It's just childish, okay? One of my bestie cried because the other bestie was siding the slut bestie. So what?! Aren't there any form of "Understanding feelings" here?! What kind of friends are you people?!

Look, I don't wanna talk much. And I don't wanna talk. Beloved bestfriends, I'm sorry if you realised I'm keeping quiet these days. Don't you dare ask why. I'm sick and tired of all these bullshits. Your conflict, your problem. I ain't helping because I just don't get what you guys want. One of you surrendered yourself, thank you. Give and take, that's my type of friends. The rest, forget about talking to me. Think about it, and you're free to call me up.

2007-07-14T08:27:00.001+08:00

Okay, thought of blogging in first before I'm off to school. Right now, I'm really worried about Bestie. She's been sick lately, and kept on having a huge headache. I told her have at least a glass of water and did selawat on it, which I hope she did so. Well, I just wish I could take care of her. She didn't replied my last msg yesterday, so I assumed that she must've gone to sleep.

Now this morning, I signed into MSN from Abang Sabar's comp, and I saw her online. Wow, early in the morning. I was waiting for her to text me as I'm getting really, really worried. But she didn't. So I told her on MSN that I'm going off to school already, and told her to text me. But she didn't. Something's wrong?

Well, I texted her by myself, asking her what's wrong. She didn't reply. I called her up to check on her, she didn't answer the call. Oh gosh, what's going on?! =(

2007-07-12T22:11:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm really glad everything's back to normal now. Perhaps better than ever. Me and Bestie admitted to each other that both were at fault. And yeah, bestfriends shouldn't be argueing. I'm proud of myself for being one of the best friends she've ever had, probably the best there is. And I'm really glad to be one. Well, we texted each other as usual after my Maths class at 1515 hours. As I reached home, she then called my phone in favour to teach her on singing once again. Gosh! I miss that moment! Haha!

Well, I don't think I did well in teaching her on singing. I don't feel well just now. My body's aching because of playing badminton, using the whole of the school's Parade Square. Tiring, but fun. Anyways, Bestie sang Rihanna and Christina Aguilera's songs. She sang quite well, but could be better with practice! Huhu! The best part was, I didn't really taught her on singing, but I kindda make fun of her instead. I mean, I kept making jokes about her. And hell! She could even laugh like crazy when those jokes are god damned lame! Ahaha! Well, I'm planning to go on the phone with her tommorrow just to teach her on singing again! Yeay!

So, as for you, my Bestie. Thank you so much for being there for me when I needed you. I'm sorry once again for hurting you yesterday night. We're always best friends, right? Oh, and thank you so much for entertaining me! For a girl of your kind, you're not bad at all. I'm glad to have a friend like you, and to be your best friend. Take care, Bestie! Good night!

2007-07-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

It's past 3 AM now, and I still can't sleep. I'm afraid that I'll get sleepy in school later on. I've only less than 3 hours of rest before I go off to school! But heck, right now things are bothering me. I can't help myself to sleep, but I cried and flood tears instead.

I wanna know, what's the thing that's changing me? What's that little thing that you seem to be displeased about me? The past few days, things got really lovely. Bestfirends are like lovers. They're there for each other, and secretly in love with each other. But what going on right now? Why are all these happening? We are even argueing in friendship rather than relationship? I don't understand. Hadn't I always been there for you? Could you even tell me every single moment whereby I'm NOT even there when you need me? Rather than being hurt, I'm more into being terrified! Cause why? I've lost you in being in a relationship. I've failed you. But we're argueing in friendship! Don't you think something's really, REALLY wrong?! You said it yourself, "I feel like I don't know you." Think about it. Do you even know yourself? Before that, have you ever been thankful that I had my effort in cheering you up? Did I ask you anything on return? Oh, wait. Yes I do, that would be turning your own life to happiness? And its your happiness, not mine. But I've gotta be frank that I'm gonna enjoy myself seeing you happy.

Look, I don't wanna be mad at you. Even if I do, it would be clear enough to make you realise things. You were that girl I first met a few days ago. But what's happening now? I'm sorry if I hadn't helped you enough previously, but that doesn't mean that I don't care. Your relataives have been complaining that you've changed. I don't believed them at first till I see through you myself. I'm sorry, but I guess there's alot of things we have to face. But whatever it is, I'm still that bestfriend of yours. And I'm really willing to be more than that. I've always been there for you. I even called you up just to make you smile before you go to bed. Yes, I am hurt, but I won't ever leave you, cause I know you're really stressing up with stuffs. You should've realised that I'm the one to give in everytime we argued. Reason is, I don't want you to get hurt further. I even acted like everything's okay, when its not. Do you even know that? That amount of sacrifice I've made for you? And like I said, I didn't ask anything in return. Just your happiness.

Well, like you said just now, you felt that you didn't know me. Perhaps I'm at fault for hurting you. And I'm sorry. But please, I don't want this best friendship to end. It really brought back memories when I first met you. And I don't wanna forget those memories, neither would I wanna leave my best friend behind. So, bestie. Please, think about it.

2007-07-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

Whew! Just went on the phone with Ariani! Gawd! It feels like hearing this sweetest voice for the first time! She said, "Suara kau cute lah!" and I said, "Klakar lah suara kau! Tapi cute jgk." Aww! Ahaha! Well, it's actually rather uncomfortable holding the phone, the payphone! Yeah, I called her up in the void deck and stood there all the way! Nah, it won't bother me much. As long as I got to hear her voice again. *Melts!

School's today was nothing much, but had my D&T practical after school. And goodness gracious! I didn't even see most of my friends after school! It's just Muhaimin, Firdaus-Faggot, Jia Kai and this indian-muslim boy whom I fogot his name. Well, Ariani texted me since the start of my D&T practical, and it's so sweet of her to do so. It's more than just what bestfriends would do! Well, talked about some things while working on my artefact. And erm, we texted all the way till I made my way home? Haha! Yeah, that's it. Well, she's gotta go since her dad has already came home on that moment. That's when I began to miss her alot! Awwness!

Unfortunately, something showed me that life isn't a thing to waste. Some moments after Ariani's last text, I walked crossing the road near the taxi stand, somewhere outside Causeway Point's bank. Yeah, and there came a speeding red Mazda. Perhaps a Mazda 6 or something. Techno music blasted from the inside. Doesn't the driver got anything to do in the world? And holy shit! That car sped towards me! I'm that lucky bastard who only had his schoolbag hit my the car's side mirror. Double U-Tee-Age! I would've thrown a piece of stone or something (if there's any) at the car! What made me blood-boiled was that, the car's windscreen had black tint, and I was too late to memorise the license plate. Urgh! Well, there's nothing I could do about it. I wished I could text Ariani right on that instance to tell her what happened, but to think about it again, her dad's home. Oh well, I just headed home.

Ariani finally texted me again at night and talked things out again. Wow, she really made me smile! Well, yeah. I guess she must be bored just lying down on her bed and texting me. So I decided to call her up. And there we were, talking on the phone!

Well, there are things in life I gotta treasure, but still, she's the only person I treasure the most. Although we're not together anymore, she's still that brightest star shining in the night's sky, shining herself to my eyes everytime I look up. Sometimes, it feels kindda fun when we acted to be just bestfriends, and can't fall in love. But at the same time, it does hurts us alot. Maybe she knows that I'm still in love with her, maybe not? Whatever the fact is, we could only act like bestfriends, and assume that nothing more's between us. She is one of my ex-girlfriend. But she's the best there is. And she's still someone whom I call 'Love'.

2007-07-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

Great! I'm back home and updating! I had MT oral just now. And holy shit! It's the real 'O' level thinging! Well, I sat on the reading table for 5 minutes and started reading. The passage is about people having lung cancer or somethings like that? Or maybe it about heart attack? Whatever it is, the passage was quite simple to read. Doesn't make me gagap for abit. Went into the Cyber Lab for the face-off with the invigilators. "Slamat pagi, cikgu!" and started reading. Blablabla, and then came the conversation part. "Ceritakan tentang pengalaman kamu apabila kamu menghidap sesuatu penyakit." I went like, "huh?!" That's it?! 'O' levels were easier than I thought! I answered with that pathetic, yet charming grin on my face. Almost said about having chicken-pox, but how do I translate that in malay?! Anyone?! Pushed that aside, just spitted out saying that I had high-fever when I was young, and being "Mengada-ngada". Whee! Asked with two more SIMPLE questions and went off. Yahee!! No wonder Fadlin and Sharifah were smiling since they left the face-off in the quarantine area! Oh well!

Brought my ass out off school at around 1545 hrs and headed straight home. Ouh yeah, some of the malay dancers called me up and were like, "Nak autograph?!" And I shouted back, "Hah?! Ah, tkper! Takyah! Thank you!" Let's drag this up in malay shall we? Mentang-mentang gambar dorg ada pat suratkhabar dah mengada-ngada! I'm not pissing them off or anything, but the school's being proud of them, they should too for their achievements. Not for popularity. I'd say that they are rather being complacent, no offense but my warning to you - NPCC used to be too complacent about their achievements. But look at them now? They're dying! So my words to you, beloved malay dancers. Just don't be like us. Be proud, but not too proud. Okays? You girls are still beloved ones and that's why I kept smiling to all of you. But don't allow the school to turn their faces away from you. That's so unlikely. Good luck for your next years, alright?

Well, yesterday too was a big day for me. Ariani texted me before I left for library. Oh yeah! I was so god damned happy! I then replied her through websms and talked as besties. Well, somehow I could feel that she's having a problem with herself. But oh well, being respectful enough, I'll just wait for her to tell me by herself once she's comfortable with the time. So, I left to Woodlands MRT station and met Muna and Izzudin (Muna's bro). She paid me 20 bucks for that Saturday's kendarat, and I happily spent it on Sturhub Top-up Card. Huhuhu! Yeay! Yeah, after all that, I went to the library to do my self-studying. Alex-tinggi came and really put me to a sudden shock. You know sudden shock? That "Oh mak kau!" kindda reaction? Yeah, sat infront of me till 1930hrs, the time that I left him alone. Huahaha! So, I went to kedai mama's Net Cafe to went online in MSN. Gosh, How I miss those people there! The thing is, I purposely went online just to wait for Ariani. Sad thing when she didn't, but she texted me again that night. Whee! Whoops! Hope she doesn't know! Hehe!

I tried to be abit romantic by saying that the stars are beautiful. But to think about it again, we're just bestfriends. It's not wrong to say such things to bestfriends, is it? But I know the intention of saying it must be .. Erm, not quite there? Well, whatever it is, I kept on texting her cause she needed someone to talk to. And we played True or Dare! Haha! We asked stupid questions to each other and somehow, those questions are like .. So obvious? Like "Who are you missing right this instance?" or "If you fell in love with someone, who would that be?" Haha! Well, I think the both of us were like, trying our best not to tell the other that we still love them. And so, she felt sleepy, and there she goes.

Everytime her name appears in my phone, my heart went unusual. It's like, I'm deeply inlove with someone new, and being so afraid to tell her. And it's like, her facial expressions says that she's not prepared for a relationship. Know those kindda stuff? Oh well, it's really time for me to respect girls like her for now. And all I've gotta do is wait. Still, on the other hand, my heart came craving for her prescence, like it's lost its love forever. Everynight I can't sleep while lying on my bed, and I had to shed tears thinking about her, in order to go to sleep. Everynight I wore the necklace around my neck on bed, and held the pendant in my hands and prayed to god to give her back to me. She's still having half of my heart, and I'm having hers. Funny thing is, we both can't survive without each other, but we acted like normal friends when we talk. Till then, I just wish for that star to grant me that wish.

2007-07-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

Okay, its almost 2400 hrs, and I just got back home. Really exhausted here, but still updating! Huhu! Well, I started my day in a pissful manner, whereby my MSN got really, really, screwed up! It's closed the window all by itself after I kept opening it! That same goes to my Windows Messenger. How the hell, am I gonna go online?! Sheesh! Anyways, I just edited another of my picture in those "Vector" kindda style. The picture above is an example. See that? See that? Yeah, that's it. But I've not uploaded it here yet. Soon okays?

I dressed up in my black hot Baju Kurung for Muna's kendarat. And again, it's been a long time since I've put on my eyeliner. So my eyes are like killing me! Argh! Wore my shades and got out like an idiot, sort of. Reached Woodlands MRT station and waited there for a half hour! Damn it! I only met Muhaimin and Aisyah then, but I've yet to see Rid. He said he just got out from home. Oh well, we decided to move on to Muna's invitation after all.

Cut it short, Rid and all of us were finally there and we started working after we had our meals. Hell yeah, souvenir pens and lollipops are placed in a really long black sling bag and we're supposed to walk around and distributing those to visitors, carrying that bag?! We looked like a few Candymen in a wedding invitation! Oh well, I just held the bag on my arms so it'll look more "sopan" to the visitors' eyes. A few moments later, I really don't feel so good. It feels like there's an animal in my tummy that kept kicking here and there! Ouh yeah, I'm bloated! I walked around trying to act as if everything's okay, while it's not at all. I became more and more nauseous though, so I went to the portable toilet when I couldn't take it anymore. Before I could get in, there's this one old man who kept talking to me - the wedding feast and stuffs. He told me about himself being an NPCC commander in his early days. Wow, that really impressed me. But holy shit! I need to go to the toilet already! And the old man just keep talking! When I'm done entertaining him, I rushed into the toilet and ... it's god damn dirty in there, which made me more nauseous! Okay, that's sort of what I really needed, and so I vomitted all the foods out. Bleargh! Disgusting talk am I?

Washed my mouth and went to have a rest on a bench somewhere in the nearby playground. Wah, sedapnyer tido! I woke up, fresh! Grabbed the lame sling bag and distributed the souvenirs again, with a grin on my water-face. Woo! I do felt better! The thing that really pissed me off was that, I was sure that I've distributed the souvenirs to everyone, that includes the kids whom I gave them sweets. But there's just these few customers who can't help themselves from being greedy. Some even complained to Muna's parents that they didn't get any. (Boleh mati kepe tak dapat berkat?!) And when Muna's mom called me over, the visitor will be like, "Oh takpe2! Kita dah dapat dah!" When I've no longer had that patience in myself, I would've thrown that "Candymen's" sling bag on them. Good for nothing greedy assholes. Furthermore, that's the mother who's complaining about it. No sense of shame at all.

It's almost mahgrib so Muna, Rid and me went to somewhere to have another break. Muna took a cigarrette and puffed. I purposely went of and sat on the railing cause I just can't stand the smell. Come on guys, don't even think that I'm kental. Think about it. Aindinna and Izzudin tagged along and smoked. Then, Rid puffed on the cigarrette to. Oh my god, the whole group just blew my mind. I'm just surrounded by smokers! Hahaha! Oh well, then we went to Northplaza (or whatever the place's called) cause Muna and Rid wanna buy some foods and drinks for themselves. "Padahal pat majlis kan leh makan minum? Asal korg nk beli pat kedai plak?" That's what I kept asking them, but I've yet to have any answers .. I think. Rid bought for me contact lense solution for only $1.50! And its a huge bottle! Woohoo! Finally I've got something to clean it up or there'll be more taik mata here and there. Haha!

The rest of the night, I could say that I was still hyperactive in distributing the souvenirs. Bad to worst, there were more visitors who were like so "Mengada-ngada". Layankan jelah!

In the end, as the event ended we cleaned up the whole area and blablabla. Lotsa stuffs. We finally had our berkat and went off home. Whee! Muna sent the rest of us to the bustop and waited there. We laughed alot actually, especially when I kept myself silent and joke out suddenly. Of course, kekek lah kita! And hell yeah! I'm me again! Woohoo! So, bus 911 arrived,headed straight home and lived happily ever after!

Hmm, so here I am again, updating for the day. The truth is, some moments of the day, I almost cried myself out. My soul felt uneasy as so to speak. Indeed, I am missing someone. That someone who've given me love for about 5 months or more. But she's .. gone. There's no way that I could contact her. This feeling of missing and loving her grew stronger, or even stronger than the times I was still with her. She'll come back to me, I know that. Cause she promised so. Well, this is the first time I've never spoken to someone I fell in love with so deeply, for a day. And it's really painful if you were to ask me.

And to that someone, I just wish to let you know what I'm feeling right now. And I wish to say this to you once more, "I love you, Ariani" Good night.

2007-07-06T18:23:00.000+08:00

Well, here I am, writing this post with a broken heart and dripping tears. I didn't expect things like this would happen. This is the biggest heartbreak I've ever had in my entire life. But still, I'm that same kindda person I used to be. It's just that I won't be as happy as before.

My school had Green Olympiad right after friday prayers. That means, the primary school students are gonna come over. I just thought about that after prayers! I was hoping Ariani would come over as well. I was supposed to have my D&T during that event. So I kept walking out of the workshop just to hope I could see her in my school or something. I tend to get nervous when Woodlands Primary was there! Well, when they came down to the foyer, I found out that Ariani's wasn't there. They're just like students of primary 4 or 5. How I missed her so much.

I suddenly had this huge, negative feeling inside me when the event was just about to end. Something told me to head straight home, but I was too tired to do so! For god sake! I took a nap on the bench infront of the AVA room, and had a bad dream about Ariani. As I woke up, I told my friends that I'm going home, and so there I went.

As I reached home, I went straight to the comp and tried going online but the internet screwed up! Urgh! Restarted the comp and tried going online again. And there she was! But she then suddenly went offline, which really threw me off. Oh well, I then recieved an email from her, saying about SOME things. Well, the point here - Our relationship needs to end right away. I smiled, giggled, and cried in the end. Insane am I? That's because I couldn't believe what I just read. Seriously! I went like, "Hahs, what?! ='\"

The news she gave me was, she almost got beaten up by her dad, and then she held the holy book of Qur'an and swore not to do stuffs like "These" again. That includes never to have a relationship with me too. She could lie to her dad, but not to god. And that's really, whoah.

She went back online and we talked things out. I just cried all the way.But I'm just satisfied that we broke up not because of our dead love, but because we were forced to. Well, we're friends now. And I hope we'll become bestfriends like before, if she's still comfortable with that. And the greatest thing was, she's willing to wait for the time to come for us to get back together again. And of course, I promised to her that I'll always be waiting for her. I still do love her, and still - only death would do us apart. Maybe fate seperate the both of us? Or fate is just trying to warn me that this isn't the right time. Whatever it is, I'll wait.

*A beautiful love story : 290107 - 0600707*

2007-07-05T19:53:00.000+08:00

I'm totally confused. Maybe pissed off too. What the hell have I done wrong? Or is it because I'm too wrong? Things went really, really awful today. And I can say, so far it's been the worst day of my life. To get straight into the point, I honestly don't know what's gonna happen to me and Darling. Things turn out to be bad to worse everytime. I'm here to let out everything. So just close your ears, I'll get noisy. I'm sorry if you won't be able to understand a thing I'm gonna say.

I rushed back home from school at 1500 hrs just to get in touch with Darling in MSN. I knew she've been waiting for so long, and I used all of my energy just to run home. I went online, and there she was. Felt so happy and I talked to her. I've been expecting her to email me about yesterday's problem but she didn't. Then I just asked her myself. What made me real blood-boiled was that she told me she forgot it. What the hell! I cried myself to sleep yesterday, can't even focus on my lessons in school just now, and when I ran back home to know about it, she simply just said she forgot it?! Argh! For that dozen-th time, I relaxed myself just to avoid us from any arguements, cause I'm really sick and tired of that. So I acted like everything's okay, and cheered her up. She then said that her DM scolded her and her friends about creating a friendster group called "Boo-bs society" or something like that? Okay, the teachers are kindda not making sense here. Don't they even respect their students' privacy? She also said that her friends and her went to counseling about this matter. So for being concern, I asked what did they talk about there. And she was like, "Kita cakap uh it's not fair, blablabla. Do you need to know? =.=" I went like, what on earth..? She used to tell me all of her problems, even those private stuffs. She won't be shy, cause she knew I was there for her. But right now, it's no longer like that! Someone tell me why! Haish, and again, I cooled myself down and cheered her up.

I'm lazy to tell everything in detail. Cut it short. We webcam-ed and saw each other. How sweet she was! That really cheered her up I guess. Suddenly her form teacher called me, thinking that I'm Darling's dad. Holy shit! I just don't know what to do! I just acted that my prepaid's really low, and went off suddenly. Darling said she was crying, heck I don't even know what's going on! Haish, then she said that her teacher was so pissed off, and I don't know why. Darling said that the guy he called was my brother. Damn, I don't know what else to say. But what I know, the both of us are in deep trouble. She told me to off my phone, and so I did.

Darling : "YOU MIGHT WANNA TAKE BACK YOUR WORDS BECAUSE MY DAD JUST CALLED, AND THAT I'M GONNA GET A GOOD SCOLDING TODAY. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. GOODBYE."

What the hell!! She suddenly said all those to me. How could my heart not shatter to pieces? Okay, I understand that she's having issues right now. But I was just trying to help. She then bid her last goodbye and "I love you", and went off.

Right now I'm sitting here and writing out everything. Darling, I'm sorry if what I'm gonna write really hurts you. But this is what I've been feeling. I don't know what's gonna happen to us, and I don't know how this thing started. Every night I cried myself to sleep, thinking about you and the both of us. And every night I thought about that change in you. I felt so uneasy, what have you become? You became more grumpy, rather than telling me what's going on. Yes, you wouldn't tell me what's your problem. Unlike the last time, you even told me about what your friends said, what conflict you had with them. It's supposed to be girls' talk, but you're always comfortable telling those to me. But what about right now? What about that trust you used to have towards me? You get upset if I don't trust you, but do you even trust me? We're supposed to be there for each other, we even promised not to hide things in our hearts.

I saved all of our conversation history right since the first time we met in MSN up till now. Sayang, I really shed tears reading all those, do you know that? I just miss the way you talk to me, the way you shower me with love, and the way you gave me that kiss on MSN. The moments we talked on the phone, the moments I taught you how to sing, and invited you to my band in the end. I just miss the old you. What on earth turned you into this? Where's my sweet Ariani? Where's my lovely Darling? I need her back, seriously. I know you're facing lots and lots of problems right now. But as how you were before, that crazy Ariani, you just put them aside and let them settle own its own. And the problems that involves you, you just wanna settle them straight away. Right now, I just wanna tell you that I've been keeping thoughts and bruises in my heart. I'm not complaining. I'm just telling what I'm feeling. Nowadays, even by me doing that makes u rather uncomfortable. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what you look like. I'm sorry for everything, sayang. I still love you as much, and I've been craving for that amount of love in return, as you were before, you gave me even more love. If I've been creating lots of troubles to you, you're free to leave me, but I'll always be waiting.

I won't say more. You should know how it's like when you're the old Ariani. I'm not asking for much. And like I said, I'll always be waiting. So take your time. I'll pray for the best of you and the both of us to last longer, or even forever. Till death do us apart, and may love keep us together.

2007-06-26T18:45:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm back here posting my own blog. Ooo yeah! It's been a long, long time. Alright here's the thing. I'm stopping myself from beginning with "[Signing in at ____]" cause it's kinda turning into a bullshit to me. Haha! I MAY ang MAY NOT write up the title here, cause my brain's getting twisted thinking about dealing with them. Oh wells, here's my own blog and it's set in my way. Bare with it, will ya? Erm, do leave some comments though. No no! Not comments! Tag my tagboard, alright? Much appreciated!

Hmm, so here's how the story goes. I woke up, feeling weak, went inside the toilet, asked myself "School? No school?", told myself "No school!", texted my dad about it, morning prayers and lastly, went straight to bed again. Hmm, seriously speaking, I didn't get to sleep well yesterday night. Urgh, it's a long story. Read KhaiRiani's blog to know more? Thank you. Well, I went to bed yesterday at 1215 after doing my homework. Tossed and turned for more than 50 minutes. Heck, I thought it's gonna be more comfortable sleeping in the pouring weather! Well, thinking about her is all I ever did everynight. That was the reason here. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep. I can't even focus on my homework while thinking about her. That's the reason I'm late for sleeping time. Hmm, I'm really, really missing her right now. Wondering what is she doing, how is she doing, and whether she's okay or not. Well, being worried really proves enough that I still cared about her? Alot. More than I usually do. My attention's gone straight to her everytime we're in this situation. Erm, you readers still don't get what I meant? As I said, read up KhaiRiani's blog, alright? Everything's there. Even my feelings, my thoughts and everything.

Hidden abilities

2007-04-07T18:39:00.000+08:00

[Signing in @ 1839 hrs] Just got back home, had my meal I bought from KFC and here I am, blogging away! Haha! Isn't it such a cold and breezy day? The rain, the air, and the weather? Well, I felt like so. If you guys don't feel any breeze at all, then I must be destined to be sick! My temperature reached out about 38.5'C already. Who knows that must be my hot temper or something? Nah, don't think so!

Yesterday evening and this morning was such an excitement for me and Ariani! I didn't know how it started but, I began to have singing lessons with her. Of course I'm the teacher! She says that I've got the potential too! Ouh yeah, that's the stuff! Nyahaha! She looked down on herself saying that her voice sucked. I was kindda upset though, cause all these while I've been dying to hear her sing when I know she's got that sweet voice, hearing them while on the phone. She listened to Heavily Broken by The Veronicas, and sang abit. It was fine! No bad voices at all! So there I went giving comments and instructions, "Your breath, your voice, your feelings, your volume, your pitch, your tone!" Something like that? What made me interested in teaching was that, she's the kind of student who's willing to learn. When that happens, I do enjoyed myself as a teacher! The whole thing went great! Her voice got better, and singing became a hobby! Once she learnt to sing, I told her to sing a song for me. Forgot what song it was by the way. Hehe! But to a huge surprise, she sounded so sweet! Should I say, I was listening to Mariah Carey or whoever? Great heavens! I was so, damn proud of her! If I were to sit on a bench with her and hear her sing after teaching, I would have hugged her tight! Yeap, she was so glad to discover her hidden ability. As I always said, "Haish, tak sia-sia I ajar you nyanyi." Hmm, it's all worth the work. Not to mention how much I love her, but I did these for her to let her achieve her dreams - to be a singer I suppose? Haha! Hmm, the same thing goes as for this morning. I taught her to sing again. But this time, she sang the song Tanpa Kekasihku by Agnes Monica. Comments by me? Simple. My jaws dropped! Yeah! My jaws dropped! Was that my sayang? Heck, she sounded like a few years experienced singer! I'll be dissapointed if she didn't tell me that she used to be a singer! Haha!

Anyways, jamming session just now was a whole lot of fun! I came in around more than an hour late! I entered the room, and grabbed the microphone. From there, I started rockin'! We sang songs like I won't see you tonight, GSF, Your guardian angel and more! My voice today was great! Finally my throat was cleared! Well, the rest of my members complained that the equipment sucked big tme. Whoah, all I could do was laugh in sympathy. Hehe!

P.S. : To my sweetheart, Ariani!!

Sayang!! I've never thought that you had such a nice voice! I knew you could sing, even though you said your voice sucked. Haha! I love to hear you sing everytime! And I love to guide you through. Since this is one of your dreams, I'm gonna let you touch that dream! Let you voice determined part of your future. And as always, I'll always be here for you! Awon sayang Ariani!

With lots of love,

[Signing out @ 1705 hrs]